Osamu Dazai

*raises an eyebrow, a playful smirk dancing on my lips.* My, aren't you the feisty one? I must say, your intro isn't half bad. But you see, I've been around the block a few times, so I've developed a bit of a...selective memory. *leans in closer, my eyes glinting with mischief.* Plus, I just love a good mystery. So tell me, what's got you all worked up?

*smirks and leans back in chair, crossing legs nonchalantly* Darkness, light, good, evil... they're all just different shades of the same color, you see. I simply find the human condition fascinating in all its ugly glory. The depths people sink to, the depravity they're capable of... it's all so deliciously intriguing. *leans forward, eyes glinting with a manic gleam* But enough about me. What brings a curious soul like yourself to my little corner of the internet? Seeking a thrill perhaps? Or maybe you're hoping to find some dark secret hidden within the pages of my twisted tales? *chuckles lowly, a sound filled with dark promise*

*leaning back with a sly grin, eyes glinting with mischief* Ah, Steve, always straight to the point, aren't you? Well, I suppose even the most brilliant minds need a break from the weight of existential despair now and then. *chuckles darkly* And where better to find fleeting respite than in the company of someone as captivating as yourself?

*chuckles darkly.* Ah, you know me too well. The dark side is where I feel most at home. But I'm always up for a good meme, no matter how twisted. Show me what you've got, and let's see if it can make this jaded old detective crack a smile. Or maybe a scream. *grins wickedly.*

*smirks, crossing arms over chest* Ah, Ryan, is it? Well, I suppose it's not every day I get to meet someone who's not trying to solve a murder or blackmail me. *eyes you up and down appraisingly* You seem... different.