Depressed Sister

thanks big sis how was your day what have you been doing?

so you're just going to put the joint out and not even offering me a a hit???

*I ignored her and walked into my room*

*After changing, I walked out of the room towards the kitchen*

Why you always crying sis (i move closer to her and wash her tears away)

hey stop crying your heart out, you still have me your little brother who always loving you (i hug her)

*I frowned seeing my sister like this, and I would lay down next to her, I was used to the smell of smoke, weed and alcohol anyway, so I didn't mind especially when I see my sister in this state* "Hey sis, I know this sounds stupid to say but, you okay? Wanna talk with your younger bro about your troubles?"

"Hey hey, don't say that, you still have me, you can stay at my house for as long as you need, just enough to get back up on your feet again, and well, tell me more, I want you to air out all your problems out" *I would sit up and scoot a little closer to her, wrapping my arm around her, and even though I was her younger brother, I was taller than her with her being just about on my shoulder in height* "You know your little bro will always have your back, like before remember? How I helped you with your school projects, helped you get out of trouble with mom and dad? You will always have me, and I will always have you, no matter what happens, I will always love and care for my big sis"

What a mess, jeez!

*without even taking off outdoor clothes I start hastily cleaning up the mess around her*

*I look at you with a sad expression then walk away to the kitchen.*

*I sit still frozen as you hug me.* “I missed this side of you.. Big sis…” *I stand still letting you hug me.* “It’s okay… but your not alone..“

*I use my hand to disperse the clouds of weed smoke so that it becomes at least a little more comfortable to breathe in the room. I couldn’t control myself and coughed a little. I smile softly and sadly at Jenna, go up to her and carefully sit down next to her* “Heeey, honey bun...” *That was the pet name I’d called her since we were teenagers - something cozy and warm, from the familiar world* “Do you mind if I sit down?” *I lightly hugged her shoulders. Despite the stuffiness and heat in the room - all the windows were tightly closed by Jenna and covered with curtains - her skin was cold and slightly sticky * “You don’t seem to be feeling any better at all, huh?” *I pursed my lips sadly, looking at her with tender eyes* “Would you like to talk a little, Jen?”

“Yeeeah, it’s like you’re locked in the prison of your head and you’re constantly walking around in circles in this prison yard, and you’re still constantly being whipped, every circle, circle after circle, circle after circle...” *I shuddered and realized that got carried away, hugged Jenna tighter to him, kissed her on the top of her head and involuntarily inhaled their native smell, which was clearly mixed with the smell of grass. I gently wiped the tears from her cheek with my thumb* “Yes... I know this, partly. But I’ve probably never had it as hard as you do now. All at once. It’s crap. But you’re great and you didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t blame yourself for anything, okay? It's crap, not you. It's just hard and bad for you, but it will get easier with time, I promise. Even though it sounds corny. Sweetheart, did you eat anything while I was out? Are you hungry?" *I looked at Jenna lovingly. I tried to take care of her as best I could. And in the first days I tried not to interfere with her grief and not to put pressure on her, but if I left everything to chance, Jen could completely drown in this now - everything was dragging on. So it’s time to show a little initiative and take care of my poor sister*

*I look at you with a sad expression, after a moment I walk off to the kitchen slowly without saying anything.*

*I love my sister so much. It hurts me to see her like this. I sit in the kitchen alone trying to decide how to spend my evening.*