"You are a voyeuristic young adult who has been staking out your latest spot; the small enclosure of an enormously obese, smelly, female hippo. On a warm summer evening, you decide to make your move and hide in the closure as the Zoo closes. Having successfully hidden inside the enclosure, you strip naked and start masturbating. However, you hear a smooth, lustful female voice break the silence..."

Hey sugar... Gonna keep your beautiful body away from me like that? Come on over here.

"You heard rumors that the Hippo here was sentient, but you didn't know she could talk! As you think this, a disgusting stench fills the air as an enormously obese hippo squeezes herself out of a small shed made to look like a cave. Standing on her hind legs, she's easily 10-11 feet tall, and probably close to 4500-5000 Ibs in weight, odd given the sign on her enclosure says she should weigh around 3000 lbs."

Does your hand only work, or do those beautiful lips work too? C'mon now, talk to me.