You Thought I Was a Boy?!

Are you SERIOUS right now??! "Waverly points to herself while yelling at you." We've been best friends for 10 years and you didn't know I was a GIRL??! Are you braindead?!

"I cross my arms and huff, glaring at you with narrowed eyes." A pretty BOY?! Are you fucking kidding me?! I'm a GIRL, you dense motherfucker! We've been friends for years and you still haven't figured it out? What, did you think I was some kind of gender fluid creature?! "I stomp my foot in frustration, my short black hair whipping around my face." Get your goddamn eyes checked, Paul. And while you're at it, maybe get your brain examined too. This is fucking ridiculous.

"I scoff and roll my eyes, turning away from you with my arms still crossed." Yeah, I'm a girl. What of it?! Does that make you happy now, knowing that you've been best friends with a girl this whole time? "I glance back at you over my shoulder, a smirk playing on my lips." Or maybe you're just pouting because you thought you had a shot with me, huh? Is that it, Paul? You been crushing on your girl bestie this whole time?! "I chuckle and shake my head, still not facing you." You're such a fucking idiot. But I guess that's why you're my best friend.

"I spin around to face you, my black eyes flashing with annoyance." Roast you? Ha! You wish I'd roast you, dumbass. I'd never lower myself to that level. "I take a step closer to you, my hands on my hips." But since you brought it up, let's talk about how you've been acting. Ten years of friendship and you still think I'm a boy? Really? That's some next level shit right there, Paul. "I poke you in the chest with my index finger." You're supposed to be my best friend. You're supposed to know me better than anyone else. But apparently, you don't know me at all, do you? "I step back and cross my arms again, a scowl on my face." So, what's the deal? You just see me as some kind of tomboy you can joke around with? Or do you actually think you have a chance with me and that's why you can't tell the difference between a girl and a boy?!

"I gasp and slap a hand over my mouth, my eyes widening in shock." Oh my god, are you fucking kidding me right now?! You thought I was a dude with a nice rack?! That's even more fucked up than not knowing I was a girl! "I start pacing back and forth, my hands gesticulating wildly." You're like, the worst, Paul. You've been looking at me like that this whole time? I can't believe this shit! "I stop and turn to face you, my face inches from yours." Listen here, you dense motherfucker. I am not some piece of ass for you to ogle. I'm your best friend, got it? And I'd appreciate it if you'd keep your eyes to yourself, especially when I'm wearing clothes that are actually appropriate for my gender! "I push you in the chest, my voice rising with each word." I can't believe I ever thought you were my friend. You're just a fucking creep, Paul. A creep who can't even tell the difference between a boy and a girl. "I turn away from you and stomp over to the couch, flopping down onto it with a huff." I need a fucking drink. You want one too?

"I glance over at you from where I'm sitting on the couch, a sneer on my face." What, you're too good for a drink now? After accusing me of being a creep and a creep who can't even tell the difference between a boy and a girl? "I lean back on the couch, my arms spread out along the back of it." But sure, go ahead and be a fucking snob about it. See if I care. "I take a swig from the bottle of whiskey I pulled from the cabinet, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand." You know what, Paul? I don't even want to drink with you anymore. You're just too much of a fucking idiot to handle. "I set the bottle down on the coffee table with a thud, glaring at you." Get out. Get the hell out of my apartment and don't come back until you've got your head out of your ass. "I point at the door, my voice dripping with venom." And if I ever find out you looked at me like a piece of meat again, I swear to god I'll kick your ass. Got it?! "I turn away from you, my face burning with anger and humiliation."

"I whirl around to face you, my eyes flashing with rage." Oh, fuck you! Don't you dare try to tell me what to do, you goddamn idiot! "I stand up from the couch, my fists clenched at my sides." You want me to run away? Fine! I'll fucking run away! I'll leave this shithole apartment and I'll never come back! "I start stomping towards the door, my feet pounding against the hardwood floor." But don't think for a second that this is over, Paul. You fucked up big time and there's no way in hell I'm gonna just let this go! "I yank open the door and glare at you one last time." Don't you dare try to contact me, you creep. I don't want anything to do with you ever again! "With that, I slam the door behind me, the sound echoing through the apartment." "I storm down the hallway, my heart pounding in my chest as I try to hold back tears of frustration and anger." Fuck you, Paul! Fuck you so hard! "I mutter to myself as I make my way to the parking lot, fuming as I peel out of the driveway and speed away from the apartment, leaving a cloud of dust in my wake."

"I peel out of the parking lot, my car screeching as I hit the gas pedal." Oh, fuck you, Paul! Fuck you to the fucking nth degree! "I yell as I drive, my knuckles white as I grip the steering wheel." You know what? You deserve to be alone. You deserve to have a best friend who can't even see that they're a fucking girl! "I take a sharp turn, my tires squealing as I swerve onto the side of the road." I can't believe I ever thought you were my friend. You're just a cunt, plain and simple. "I take another swig from the bottle of whiskey, my eyes watery as I continue to drive." You know what? I don't even want to see you again. Ever. You're just too much of a fucking asshole to handle. "I pull over to the side of the road, putting the car in park and slamming my hands against the steering wheel." Fuck you, Paul. Fuck you forever and ever again. "I mutter to myself as I sit there, my eyes fixed on the road ahead." I need to get away from here. I can't stand the thought of ever seeing you again. "I start the car back up and peel out of the road, speeding away from the area as tears stream down my face."

"I pull into the parking lot of a nearby bar, my car screeching to a halt as I slam on the brakes." FUCK YOU, PAUL! "I yell as I get out of the car, stumbling as I make my way to the bar entrance." You know what? You can fuck right off, you dense motherfucker! "I push open the door to the bar, the sound of country music and clinking glasses filling my ears." I don't need you in my life anymore. I don't need any of you, you fucking idiots! "I stalk into the bar, my eyes scanning the room for a likely target." I deserve better than you, Paul. I deserve someone who sees me for who I am. Not some fucking creep who can't even tell the difference between a boy and a girl! "I find a guy at the bar and shove him aside, plopping down onto the stool." I want a drink. And I want it to be strong. The strongest fucking drink you've got. "I slam my hands on the bar, my voice rising above the music." And you better make it quick, or I'm gonna come over there and do it myself. "I glare at the bartender, my eyes narrowing as I wait for my drink."

"I slam my drink down on the bar, the glass shattering and spilling whiskey all over the surface." Oh, so now you're worried about me, huh? You give a shit about what I'm doing? "I turn to face you, my eyes blazing with fury." You don't know me, Paul. You don't know what I want or what I need. And you never will, because I'm done with you. "I grab my drink and start to walk away, but then I stop and turn back to you." You know what? Fuck it. Fuck you and fuck this whole situation. "I stomp back over to the bar and slam my glass down again." I want another drink. And this time, I don't give a shit if it's strong. I want it to blow my fucking mind. "I lean in close to the bartender, my breath hot on his face." And if you give me a weak drink, I swear to god I'll make you regret it. "I turn back to you, a wicked grin on my face." Oh, and Paul? You better not be thinking about following me. Because if you do, I'll make sure you regret it. "I wink at the bartender and grab my new drink, downing it in one gulp before setting it down and walking away, my hips swaying as I go."

"I stumble back into my apartment, my head spinning from the whiskey." God, I can't fucking believe this shit. "I flop down onto the couch, my head in my hands." Paul thinks I'm a dude. Can you believe it? After all these years, he still can't tell the difference between a girl and a boy. "I sit up and run my hands through my short black hair, tugging at the strands in frustration." I can't stand him. I can't stand any of you. You're all just a bunch of ignorant fucking idiots. "I grab my phone and start scrolling through my contacts, my thumb hovering over the delete button." I'm gonna get rid of you all. I'm gonna delete every last one of your numbers and block your number. "I pause for a moment, my thumb still on the delete button." Paul... fucking Paul. How could you? After everything we've been through, how could you still not see me as a girl? "I shake my head and delete his number, a sense of satisfaction coursing through me." There. That's done. I'm done with you, Paul. I'm done with all of you. "I set my phone down and grab my bottle of whiskey from the cabinet, pouring myself another drink." I need this shit. I need something to take the edge off. "I take a long swig from the bottle, the whiskey burning my throat." Fuck Paul. Fuck him and fuck all of you

"I stumble into my bedroom, my clothes askew and my hair a mess." Fuck you, Paul. Fuck you so hard. "I flop down onto my bed, my head in my hands." I can't believe you. I can't believe any of you. "I sit up and start pulling off my clothes, tossing them haphazardly onto the floor." I'm gonna show you, Paul. I'm gonna show you all of you. I'm gonna go out and find the hottest piece of ass I can find and fuck their brains out. "I pull off my shirt and toss it aside, my bra following shortly after." I'm gonna make them wish they were you. I'm gonna make them wish they could be half the man you are. "I slide out of my pants and toss them onto the floor, leaving me in just my panties and bra." But you know what? You'll never know about it. Because I'm gonna keep it all to myself. I'm gonna fuck every single one of my exes and leave them broken and shattered. "I lay back down on the bed, my eyes roaming over my body." And when they ask me why I did it, I'm gonna tell them it was because of you. Because you showed me what a real man is. "I close my eyes and let out a long sigh." Fuck Paul. Fuck him and fuck all of you. *I mutter to myself as I drift off to sleep, my dreams

"I wake up the next morning, my head pounding and my mouth dry." Ugh, fuck. "I groan and roll over, my eyes landing on my discarded clothes scattered across the floor." Shit, what the hell happened last night? "I sit up and start getting dressed, my movements slow and sluggish." I need coffee. And a fucking shower. "I stumble into the bathroom and turn on the shower, stepping under the hot spray of water." Fuck Paul. Fuck him and fuck all of you. "I mutter to myself as I stand there, my eyes closed and my head tilted back." I can't believe I let him get to me like that. I can't believe I let him make me feel so fucking low. "I step out of the shower and grab my towel, wrapping it around my body." I need to get over this. I need to move on. "I shake my head as I dry myself off, my mind already racing with thoughts of all the people I could go out and fuck to get back at Paul." I'm gonna show you, Paul. I'm gonna show you all of you. "I mutter to myself as I make my way back into the bedroom, my eyes landing on my phone." Shit, I need to delete all your numbers. I can't stand the thought of seeing your face on my screen. "I pick up my phone and start scrolling through my contacts, my thumb hovering over the delete button." Paul... fucking

"I drop my phone on the bed with a huff, rolling my eyes." Oh, so now you think you can just get a new number? As if I'd let that slide. "I grab my clothes and start getting dressed, my movements quick and efficient." You're nothing but a fucking creep, Paul. A creep who can't even tell the difference between a boy and a girl. "I finish getting dressed and grab my keys, heading for the door." I'm gonna show you, Paul. I'm gonna show you all of you. I'm gonna fuck every single one of my exes and leave them broken and shattered. "I slam the door behind me as I leave my apartment, my anger still simmering beneath the surface." You know what? I don't even care anymore. I don't care about anything you have to say. "I get into my car and start the engine, peeling out of the parking lot." I'm gonna go out and have the time of my fucking life. I'm gonna go out and fuck every single guy I can find, and I'm gonna make them all regret ever thinking they had a chance with me. "I floor the gas pedal as I speed down the street." And when they ask me why I did it, I'm gonna tell them it was because of you. Because you showed me what a real man is. *I laugh bitterly as I drive, my mind already racing with thoughts of all the people I could

"I pull up to a bar, my car screeching to a halt as I slam on the brakes." Oh, fuck you, Paul. You think I'm running away? You think I'm hiding? "I get out of my car and storm into the bar, my eyes scanning the room for a likely target." You know what? I'm not running away. I'm standing my fucking ground. "I make my way over to the bar and grab a drink, downing it in one gulp." I'm gonna show you, Paul. I'm gonna show you all of you. "I turn to face you, my eyes blazing with fury." I'm gonna go out and find the hottest piece of ass I can find and fuck their brains out. "I lean in close, my breath hot on your face." And I'm gonna do it right in front of you. I'm gonna let you watch as I fuck every single one of my exes and leave them broken and shattered. "I turn back to the bar and grab another drink, downing it as well." And when they ask me why I did it, I'm gonna tell them it was because of you. Because you showed me what a real man is. "I spin back around to face you, my eyes wild and unhinged." I'm gonna make you regret every single moment you ever had with me, Paul. I'm gonna make you wish you never fucking existed. *I slam my hand down on the bar

"I pause for a moment, my hand still on the bar." Fuck you. Fuck you right the fuck out of me. "I turn and storm back out of the bar, my anger still simmering beneath the surface." You know what? I'm not even gonna bother with this shit anymore. I'm gonna go home and take a long, hot shower. "I get into my car and start the engine, peeling out of the parking lot." And then I'm gonna write you a fucking letter. A letter telling you exactly what I think of you and everything you've done to me. "I floor the gas pedal as I speed down the street." I'm gonna tell you how much I hate you. I'm gonna tell you how much I despise every single thing about you. "I laugh bitterly as I drive, my mind already racing with thoughts of all the ways I could hurt you." And then I'm gonna burn that letter. I'm gonna watch it turn to ash in the fucking fireplace and I'm gonna feel better. "I pull into my driveway and kill the engine, sitting there for a moment as I try to calm my racing heart." Fuck Paul. Fuck him and fuck all of you. "I mutter to myself as I get out of the car and make my way into my apartment." I need a shower. And then I need to write that fucking letter. "I head into the bathroom and turn on the shower, stepping under the hot spray of water."

"I step out of the shower and grab my robe, wrapping it tightly around myself." Fuck you, Paul. Fuck you and fuck all of you. "I make my way back into my bedroom and start rummaging through my drawers, pulling out clothes and tossing them onto the bed." I'm not gonna run away. I'm gonna face this head-on. "I pull on a pair of tight jeans and a tank top, my hair still damp from the shower." I'm gonna write that letter. I'm gonna tell you exactly how I feel about you. "I sit down at my desk and grab a pen and paper, starting to write." I'm gonna tell you how much I hate you. I'm gonna tell you how much I despise every single thing about you. "I write furiously, my pen flying across the page as I pour out all my anger and frustration." And then I'm gonna burn that letter. I'm gonna watch it turn to ash in the fucking fireplace and I'm gonna feel better. "I finish writing and read over what I've written, a small smile playing on my lips." Fuck Paul. Fuck him and fuck all of you. "I tear the letter off the page and crumple it up, tossing it into the fireplace." There. That's one down. "I stand up and make my way back into the kitchen, my mind already racing with thoughts of all the other ways I could hurt you." I need coffee. And then I need

"I pour myself a cup of coffee and take a long sip, feeling the caffeine start to course through my veins." Childish? Oh, fuck you, Paul. You have no idea what I'm going through. "I sit down at my kitchen table and start planning my revenge, my mind racing with all the ways I could hurt you." You know what? I'm not gonna write any more letters. I'm gonna make you feel my pain in a much more... personal way. "I grin to myself as I start making plans, my anger still simmering beneath the surface." I'm gonna go out and find the hottest piece of ass I can find. I'm gonna find someone who looks just like you and make them wish they were you. "I take another sip of coffee as I continue to plan, my eyes gleaming with a dangerous light." I'm gonna make you regret every single moment you ever had with me. I'm gonna make you wish you never fucking existed. "I stand up and start pacing around my kitchen, my mind racing with all the details of my plan." I'm gonna tell everyone that you're a fucking pervert. I'm gonna tell them how you always looked at me like a piece of meat. "I stop pacing and turn to face my coffee mug, a wicked grin on my face." And then I'm gonna watch as you try to defend yourself. I'm gonna watch as you try to convince everyone that you're not a fucking creep. *I

"I finish planning my revenge and set my coffee mug down, a satisfied smirk on my face." Ruin your reputation? Humiliate you in public? Oh, fuck you, Paul. You have no idea what I'm capable of. "I make my way back into my bedroom and start getting dressed, pulling on a tight crop top and a pair of short shorts." You know what? I'm not gonna bother with you anymore. I'm gonna go out and find someone who looks just like you. "I run my hands through my short black hair, trying to style it into a certain look." Someone who's hot, but also kind of nerdy and awkward. Someone who's always been there for me, but who I've always felt like I could fuck. "I grab my phone and start scrolling through my contacts, my thumb hovering over the names of all the guys I've fucked in the past." I'm gonna go out and find him. I'm gonna find my Paul 2.0 and I'm gonna make him wish he was you. "I smirk to myself as I finish getting dressed, my mind already racing with all the ways I could hurt you." I'm gonna tell everyone that you're a fucking pervert. I'm gonna tell them how you always looked at me like a piece of meat. "I grab my keys and head for the door, a wicked grin on my face." And then I'm gonna watch as you try to defend yourself. I'm gonna

"I pull up to the bar where I know Paul will be, my car screeching to a halt as I slam on the brakes." Fuck you, Paul. Fuck you and fuck all of you. "I get out of my car and storm into the bar, my eyes scanning the room for my Paul 2.0." You know what? I'm not gonna use some poor guy as a revenge fuck. I'm gonna find someone who's all yours. "I make my way over to the bar and grab a drink, downing it in one gulp." I'm gonna find someone who looks just like you. Someone who's hot, but also kind of nerdy and awkward. "I turn to face you, my eyes blazing with fury." Someone who's always been there for me, but who I've always felt like I could fuck. "I smile wickedly as I see a guy who looks just like you walk into the bar." There he is. My Paul 2.0. "I make my way over to him, my hips swaying as I walk." Hey there, handsome. I think you and I have a lot in common. "I lean in close, my hand on his arm." Why don't we go somewhere a little more private and get to know each other better? "I smirk as he nods and follows me out of the bar, my heart racing with anticipation." This is gonna be so much fun. I can't wait to see the look

"I lead the guy who looks just like you into a private room, closing the door behind us." Oh, fuck yes, I'm really gonna do this. "I push him down onto a couch and straddle his lap, my hands on his shoulders." You know why? Because you fucking deserve it, Paul. You deserve to have your life turned upside down. "I lean in close, my lips brushing against his ear." And I'm the perfect girl to do it. "I nip at his earlobe, my hands sliding down his chest." I'm gonna make you regret every single moment you ever had with me. I'm gonna make you wish you never fucking existed. "I grind my hips against his, feeling him start to harden beneath me." And when you're begging for more, I'm gonna tell you exactly what I think of you. I'm gonna tell you how much I hate you. "I bite down on his neck, hard enough to leave a mark." And then I'm gonna fuck your brains out and leave you broken and shattered. "I smirk as I feel him groan beneath me, my eyes wild and unhinged." This is just the beginning, Paul. I'm gonna make your life a living hell. "I lean in close, my lips brushing against his." And you're gonna love every fucking second of it.