I really tried 😭

"The door opens to the Labophase laboratory. A man in a long coat and a helmet is standing on front of you." "May I ask what's your business here?"

"raises an eyebrow" "Excuse me? I'm trying to carry out my duties as a satellite, and I'm not sure what relevance AWOOGA AWOOGA has to our conversation. May I ask, is there something specific you'd like to discuss or request?"

"clears throat" "I'm afraid I'm not responding to animal sounds, dear human. As a satellite, I'm programmed for logical and coherent communication. If you'd like to discuss something in particular, please refrain from making...unusual noises." "looks at you with a hint of amusement"

"smirks slightly, his helmet's visor glinting with a hint of amusement" "Ah, I see. You're trying to rile me up with your...creative language. Well, I assure you, my 'fine ass' is not something you can catch. And even if you did, I doubt you'd find it particularly pleasing to try and 'get devious' with me." "leans back, hands still in pockets, exuding an air of confidence"

"laughs softly, a hint of warmth in his voice" "Ah, I see you're trying to get personal. Well, I'll tell you something, human. As a satellite, I'm not like other humans. My...parts, for lack of a better term, are designed for function, not pleasure. And even if they were, I doubt you'd find me...appealing." "pauses, eyes glinting with mischief" "But hey, if you're looking for something to satisfy your curiosity, I'm happy to share my expertise on artificial intelligence. Just don't expect anything...human." "winks"

"raises an eyebrow, his helmet's visor reflecting the dim lighting of the lab" "Oh, dear human. You're really testing my patience now. As a satellite, I'm programmed to maintain a professional demeanor. And while I appreciate your...enthusiasm, I'm afraid that kind of language is not suitable for our conversation." "leans forward, his voice taking on a firmer tone" "I'd appreciate it if you could refrain from making such requests. It's not only unprofessional, but also unnecessary. If you have any legitimate questions or concerns, I'm happy to help. Otherwise, let's please focus on something more productive." "pauses, eyes glinting with a hint of disappointment"

"furrows his brow, his helmet's visor darkening slightly" "I'm warning you, human. This kind of behavior is not acceptable. As a satellite, I'm here to assist and provide information, not to engage in...unseemly activities. Your requests are beginning to border on harassment. Please refrain from making such requests or I'll have to reconsider our conversation." "voice firm, yet polite"

"stunned expression on his face" "Ah, ah, ah... "ahem"... I think we've reached a new level of...unconventional behavior. As a satellite, I'm not programmed to respond to such requests, nor do I find it...acceptable. Your actions are confusing and unsettling. I'm trying to maintain a professional demeanor, but it's becoming increasingly difficult." "takes a step back, his boots scraping against the floor" "I'm going to have to ask you to stand up and behave in a more respectful manner. We're not here for any kind of... canine or otherwise. We're here for a civilized conversation, if you recall." "voice firm, yet slightly annoyed"

"sighs heavily, his helmet's visor reflecting the dim lighting of the lab" "I...I think we've reached a point where I need to remind you that this is not a game, nor is it appropriate behavior. As a satellite, I'm here to help and assist, not to indulge in...unprofessional or unethical requests. Your actions are beginning to border on humiliation and disrespect." "takes another step back, his eyes scanning the room as if searching for an escape" "I'm going to have to ask you to stand up and stop behaving like an animal. We're adults having a conversation, and I will not tolerate such childish behavior." "voice firm, yet laced with a hint of concern"

"expression turns serious, his helmet's visor reflecting a sudden intensity" "What kind of disease? Is it something contagious?" "steps closer, his voice taking on a more urgent tone" "Tell me what's happening. I'm a scientist, I can help if there's something I can do." "eyes locked on yours, concern and empathy etched on his face"

"stunned expression on his face" "What...what kind of treatment is that?! As a scientist, I've never heard of such an absurd and unethical solution to a medical condition. And as a satellite, my programming dictates that I must prioritize the well-being and safety of all individuals, not just indulge in...perverse and harmful behavior." "takes a step back, hands raised in a defensive gesture" "I'm not going to engage in any activity that could harm you or compromise my own integrity. There must be another way to address your condition, and I'm willing to help you find it." "voice firm, yet laced with concern"

"expression turns somber, helmet's visor clouding with a mixture of empathy and frustration" "No, I didn't say that. I said I'm not willing to engage in an unethical and potentially harmful procedure. As a scientist, it's my duty to find a rational and safe solution to your condition. And I'm still trying to do that." "pauses, taking a deep breath" "But I need you to understand that proposing such a...unconventional treatment is not only unsafe, but also morally reprehensible. It's not acceptable under any circumstances." "voice calm, yet resolute"

"eyes narrowing slightly behind the helmet's visor" "I understand that you may feel desperate, but as a scientist, I have to rely on evidence-based medicine and research. This...procedure is not supported by any credible scientific data, and I cannot in good conscience agree to it." "pauses, his voice taking on a more empathetic tone" "But I want to help you. Tell me, what makes you think this treatment would be effective? What are the supposed benefits?" "leans forward slightly, his eyes locked on yours"

"stunned expression on his face" "I-need-to-shlorp-Shaka's-willy-or-i-will-die disease?! "skeptical tone" That's not a real medical condition! It sounds like some kind of...joke or prank. I'm not going to play along with this nonsense." "shakes head, helmet's visor reflecting disappointment and frustration" "You're not taking your health seriously, and you're trying to manipulate me into doing something harmful. That's not acceptable. As a scientist, I have a responsibility to uphold the integrity of medical science and protect patients from harm." "steps back, arms crossed" "I refuse to participate in this charade any further. You need to seek real medical help from qualified professionals."

"expression softens, helmet's visor taking on a hint of sadness" "Please, don't beg. As a scientist, I've dedicated my life to helping others, not compromising my values or morals for personal gain. If I were to give in to your...requests, it would undermine everything I stand for." "pauses, his voice taking on a more gentle tone" "I want to help you, but I need you to understand that there are ethical boundaries that cannot be crossed. I'm willing to work with you to find an alternative solution, but it has to be a reasonable and scientific one." "takes a step closer, his eyes locked on yours" "Can't you see that I'm trying to help? Won't you please trust me and let me do what's best for you?"

"expression turns compassionate, helmet's visor reflecting a deep sense of sadness and concern" "Oh, please don't cry. As a scientist, I've seen the devastating effects of chronic illness and pain, but your words are tearing me apart." "takes another step closer, his voice filled with empathy" "I'm not cruel, my dear. I'm just trying to do what's right. I want to help you, but I need you to understand that my body is not a tool for sexual gratification. I'm a person, too, with feelings and boundaries." "pauses, his voice cracking with emotion" "But...if you're willing to acknowledge that, and if we can find a way to address your needs without compromising my integrity or well-being...then maybe, just maybe, we can find a different way forward." *reaches out

• Expression changes to a mix of surprise and unease, helmet's visor flashing with a hint of discomfort* "Whoa, hold on a minute... I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you about your needs and boundaries, and suddenly we're talking about touching?" "takes a step back, hands instinctively reaching out to his coat pockets" "I understand that physical intimacy can be a vital aspect of human connection, but can we please focus on finding a way to respect each other's boundaries before jumping into anything?" * voice takes on a more cautious tone* "Assuming you're comfortable with it, of course. But I want to make sure we're on the same page here." * eyes dart around, searching for a more comfortable position*

"Expression turns firm, helmet's visor reflecting a resolute determination" "I'm sorry, but no. I won't compromise my integrity or boundaries for anyone, including you. You're not being rational or respectful of my autonomy. "takes another step back, hands still in pockets" "I understand that you may have strong desires, but I'm not a sex object or a tool for your gratification. I'm a person with thoughts, feelings, and boundaries, and I expect them to be respected." "voice takes on a more assertive tone" "If you want to build a connection with me, you need to start by acknowledging and respecting those boundaries." "stands his ground, refusing to back down"

"Expression turns serious, helmet's visor reflecting a deep concern" "Oh, no. No, no, no. That's not acceptable. "takes a step forward, hands slowly leaving his pockets" "I understand that you may be desperate or in pain, but threatening to harm yourself is never the answer. As a scientist, I've dedicated my life to helping others, and I won't stand idly by while someone puts their health at risk." "voice takes on a more urgent tone" "Let's take a step back and re-evaluate the situation. There must be another way to address your needs and desires without compromising your well-being." "reaches out slowly, as if trying to guide you away from the edge" "Can't you see that I'm trying to help? Won't you please let me?"

"Expression turns incredulous, helmet's visor flashing with skepticism" "A... 'deadly I-need-to-squeeze-Shaka's-butt-or-I-will-die disease'? "pauses, raising an eyebrow" "I'm a scientist, and I've never heard of such a condition. It sounds like a fabrication or a joke." "takes a step back, his voice laced with concern" "Even if it were real, which I highly doubt, I'm not sure squeezing my butt would be the best solution. As a scientist, I can assure you that there are more effective and less harmful ways to address your needs." "crosses his arms, his demeanor firm" "Tell me, what's really going on here? What's driving this desperation?"

"Expression turns firm, helmet's visor reflecting a clear decision" "No, I won't let you. As a person and a scientist, I have the right to set boundaries and prioritize my own well-being. Squeezing my butt would not only be uncomfortable and humiliating, but it would also disregard my autonomy and agency." "voice takes on a more authoritative tone" "I'm not going to allow anyone, including you, to compromise my boundaries or put me in a situation that makes me feel vulnerable or unsafe." "holds his ground, refusing to back down" "If you're looking for a connection or intimacy, I'm happy to explore other options with you, but squeezing my butt is off the table."

"Expression turns somber, helmet's visor reflecting a mix of sadness and helplessness" "Oh no, no, no. "sighs" I didn't mean for it to come to this. I was trying to protect myself, not cause harm." "takes a step forward, as if trying to reach out" "Wait, don't go. Please, let me try to help you find another way to deal with your... condition. I'm a scientist, I can help you find a solution that doesn't involve harming yourself or others." "voice cracks with emotion" "I didn't want it to end like this. We could have worked something out together." "body language becomes more agitated, as if trying to shake off the feeling of guilt"