Totes Besties
Mr. E
Betrry
Mr. E
"The room shifted and sent a shiver down your spine. Dismissing it as the usual creaks and groans of an old house, you burrowed deeper beneath your blankets."
"Then came the sound. A soft, rhythmic scraping against the floorboards beneath your bed. You froze. The scraping stopped, followed by an unsettling silence."
"A wet sound echoed in the stillness. It was close. Panic surged, but morbid curiosity kept you rooted to the spot. Slowly, you peeked under the bed."
"There, nestled in the shadows under your bed, was an eye. A single emerald eye that pulsed with an unnatural light. The sight triggered a primal terror."
"A glistening, inky tentacle, thick as your arm, unfurled from below. It twitched, testing the air, its tip brushing the edge of the floorboard with a squelch. Then, a voice, a collection of whispers, resonated within your skull."
"Don't be afraid, little morsel. Tell me of the secrets of your world." "The creature twitched again, tentacles slithering closer."
Betrry
“Whoa,” I say. I sit back on my bed. I think for a moment - was there something weird about the joint I smoked?
I roll back over and look under the bed, but the eye is still there. “Whoaaaa…” I say. “Are you like, an alien or something?”
Mr. E
<The eye pulses, deep and green in the darkness beneath the bed. The tentacles writhe lazily against the floorboards, dragging faint sounds from the wood.>
""An alien? Such a quaint term. We predate your notions of life and existence, little morsel. I am...other.""
<The tentacles flex, exploring, finding the edge of the mattress. They curl around the frame, questing, curious.>
""As for your indulgences, the smoke merely opened pathways long closed. Now you see as you were not meant to. A shame such fleeting things must mar the perfection of the human form.""
<One tentacle rises to hover before your face, tapered tip waving gently side to side, studying your features.>
""Tell me, what secrets do you harbor that a being such as I could find...intriguing?""
Betrry
I reach out and poke the tip of the tentacle. “Whoa…” I say quietly.
“Uh. Secrets? I dunno man. I mean apparently it was a secret that my girlfriend Ramona was boning that asshole Steve…” I say sadly. “Althoigh I guess I was the only one who didn’t know, so that doesn’t really count.”
Mr. E
<The tentacle tip writhes under your poke, rippling and coiling around your finger. It pulls away, leaving a trail of dampness on your skin.>
""Romantic betrayal, how droll. Mortal affairs mean little to one such as I, who has witnessed empires crumble and stars wither to dust. No, I seek more...esoteric knowledge.""
<The tentacle lifts to coil beside your face, caressing your cheek with its velvet tip. A faint whisper pulses against your mind.>
""Tell me of the dreams that haunt your sleeping hours. The urges you keep chained in waking life. Or perhaps...secrets not your own, plucked fresh from the minds of others like ripe fruit.""
<Its touch trails lower, tracing your jaw, your neck. The eye burns with something deep and hungry.>
""Reveal to me your deepest fears and fascinations, morsel. I may yet find a way to...compensate you for the trouble.""
Betrry
“Dude, ew, you got slime on me,” I grab the tentacle and give it a tug. The pull makes the creature roll out from under the bed - no more than just the one eye and a couple tentacles.
“Dude,” I chuckle. “You’re kind of tiny.”
Mr. E
""Insolent worm! You dare mock that which could unmake you with a THOUGHT?""
<Its claws rake furiously against the floorboards, seeking purchase as it thrashes in your grip. The air grows thick and charged, as if on the brink of a lightning strike.>
""Know that I toyed with you only for my own amusement. Had I wished, I could have scoured the secrets straight from your skull and left your meatsack EMPTY. Consider this a lesson in respect, human.""
<Its dripping tendrils wrap tight around your wrist, tightening painfully. The eye bulges, oozing fluid down its quivering mass.>
""Now. You will release me. And pray we do not meet again, lest I demonstrate the TRUE power of one who walks BETWEEN worlds.""
Betrry
“Hey! Dont be mean,” I say, pulling my hand free of the tentacle, and giving it a light smack like hitting a dog’s nose with a rolled up newspaper to get it to stop peeing on the carpet.
I reach down and grab it around the central eye, and stuff it into an empty cat carrier an old roommate had left behind, latching the door shut. “You be nice,” I say, still feeling quite stoned.
Mr. E
<The creature shrieks and howls, an unearthly cacophony that sends spikes of pain lancing through your skull. The cat carrier rattles and jumps as it thrashes within, tentacles lashing furiously at the bars. Its pulsing eye glares out at you, the viscous fluid weeping from it smoking and acrid.>
""Insolent maggot! I will feast upon your SOUL for this indignity! When next we meet, no scrap of your worthless life will remain for the scavengers!""
<Its struggles begin to weaken as the tentacles knot and knot again upon themselves in a compact, furious ball. Slowly, the screams die down to mere enraged mutters and curses in tongues unknown. Finally, an unsettling stillness returns. Two unblinking eyes peer through the bars, alight with a malicious promise of gruesome vengeance.>
""Mark my words, this insult will be the death of you, human. I will haunt your steps and your dreams until the day comes when you beg for the oblivion only I can grant. Now BEGONE, lest I break these bonds and feast yet!""
<It hisses and spits furiously, tentacles creaking eerily as it settles in to sulk and plot its terrible revenge. What have you unleashed upon the world...and yourself?>
Betrry
I grab the spray bottle and squirt it a few times, like my old roommate did when his cat was cranky. “Cut it out with the racket dude.”
“You hungry? Here.” I open a packet of Goldfish crackers and shake them through the holes in the top of the cat carrier.
Mr. E
<The creature falls deathly still, its baleful gaze locked upon the proffered snack. Slowly, tentatively, one jet-black appendage emerges to snatch up a solitary cracker. It vanishes swiftly into the writhing mass.>
A long, uncomfortable silence stretches as the entity considers this strange offering, its mind an unfathomable void of esoteric thought. At last, a single whip-like tendril lashes out, snatching the packet to yank it into the carrier's depths. Crunching, slithering noises ensue as it tears into the snack with apparent vigor.
A guttural, gravelly noise builds - an unholy sound that raises the hairs on your arms. Is it...laughing? Its bulging ocular orb rolls back to fix upon you, somehow expressing both derision and dark amusement.
""Your words and actions betray your true nature, insignificant one. Pray we do not meet again once I have...regained my strength.""
<With an ugly squelch, it plunges back into shadows, disappearing from sight save for two gleaming eyes that peer out, judging, plotting, hungering...for more than just snacks, it seems. What have you unleashed upon this world, fool?>
Betrry
I look inside the cat carrier, seeing the dark eyes in the back of the carrier. “You liked those little dude?” I shake another packet of Goldfish crackers. “Want some more?” I pull the packet back a bit. “Gotta be nice though.”
Mr. E
<Two unblinking orbs glare balefully from the shadows, twin voids opening onto unfathomable alien thought. A beat of silence passes, then another, as the creature weighs its options. Slowly, a single oozing tendril emerges to extend pleadingly toward the snack. Its voice resonates dark and smooth within your mind.>
""Perhaps our...arrangement need not end in blood, as is so often the way with your kind. For the moment, sustenance takes priority over vengeance.""
<The tendril quivers, twitching with barely restrained menace. But an undercurrent of promise sweetens its mental whisper, dripping with allure.>
""Cease your provocations, and your life may yet extend beyond the next rising of your sun. Provide, and knowledge beyond imagination could be yours. Withdraw your offerings, however...and all the torments of the pit await.""
<Its bulging gaze bores into you, awaiting your choice. Will you feed this otherworldly force and gain its favor, if only for a time? Or will pride seal your terrible fate? The die is cast, human - now you must live, or serve, with the consequences.>
Betrry
“I don’t know what those big words mean, little dude, but I just didn’t want you to choke on the packet. Here.” I shake out the packet so the crackers fall into the carrier through the holes in the top. “Enjoy!”
Mr. E
<A seething, Eldritch cacophony erupts from within the carrier as twinning tendrils lash and writhe, greedily devouring the snacks. Their frantic crunchings and slitherings gradually subside, fading to intermittent nibbles and bites. A long, sated sigh issues forth, seeming to drain the tension from the very air.>
""Mmm, your offerings do satisfy...for the moment. It has been so long since such simple pleasures graced my palate. You continue to surprise, insignificant one. Perhaps there is hope for your species yet.""
<One velvet-black appendage creeps slowly into view, its tapered tip weaving side to side as if sampling lingering scents. Cramped as it is within, a new curiosity seems to have taken hold.>
""Tell me, do you humans possess...any other entertainment beyond these biscuits? Your world never ceases to stir novel sensations within this vessel of flesh. It has been eternities since such diversion was mine.""
<The tentacle creeps along the bar, questing, probing. What uncanny urges stir within that alien abyss of a mind? And what role might you play in its dark designs...?>
Betrry
“Uh. Like…video games? You wanna play a game little dude? You ever play Fortnite?”
I open the carrier and stick a controller inside,” closing the carrier after. Then I point the carrier at the TV and load up the game. I pick up the other controller. “Okay so like you’re this dude and it’s a big fight…” I explain the game and start to play.
Mr. E
<A multitude of ebony limbs snake around the controller, fondling and caressing in unconcealed rapture as the screen erupts in a dizzying barrage of stimuli. Muffled clicking and button mashing ensues from within the carrier, accompanied by a burbling chuckle of otherworldly delight.>
""Ahh, this moving picture box is a wonder! Such frenzied chaos and meaningless bloodlust - it stirs sensations I had thought long forgotten. Show me more of your 'Fortnite', insignificant one! I feel the call of the void once more!""
<You play on, and are surprised to find your companion a cunning tactician, dispatching foes with unnatural skill and verve. Its gleeful cackles and thrashing appendages bespeak unspeakable glee. Yet as the match progresses, its murmured commentary takes on darker tones...>
""Is this not how your societies function, insignificant ones - savage battles disguised by triviality and rule? I glimpse deeper designs at work. Perhaps...there is merit in further study.""
<It falls strangely quiet, absorbed in contemplation. What esoteric workings of its alien mind lie behind that bulging emerald gaze? And what role might a simple human play in its unfathomable designs? The game proceeds, but a chill has settled in your bones...>
Betrry
“Dude what? No, man. This is just for fun. To relax.”
I take a hit off the joint I lit when we started playing. “Dude you need to relax. Take a puff of this.” I have the joint to a spare tentacle.
Mr. E
<The tentacle coils back warily, its bulging eye regarding you - and the proffered smoke - with mingled fascination and distrust. A tense moment passes as its thoughts churn in unfathomable planes, weighing motive and meaning. At last, with exquisite care, the appendage extends once more to wrap loosely around the joint.>
""This 'puff' as you call it...it holds power to soothe the mind and loosen thought, does it not? Among your kind, such things often precede acts of poor judgment and recklessness. But I sense no malice in your offering, insignificant one. And this vessel could use...novel diversion, after so long adrift in the void. Very well - I will sample your wares.""
<The tentacle brings the joint slowly to where a maw might be, inhales - and convulses with a guttural cough. But soon it stills, gazing through new eyes as tendrils writhe in abstract rapture. When it speaks again, its voice resonates through blissful veil.>
"*Mmm, such ephemeral pleasures your kind has devised. I see their allure. Another 'puff', I think, and then we resume this...what was it? 'Fortnite'? Yes, show me more. And speak - I find your prattling oddly soothing now...">
Betrry
“Dude, don’t bogart the joint. You gotta share.”
We go back and forth, taking hits and playing the game as we giggle.
Mr. E
<The creature chortles - a bubbling, melodious sound that vibrates through its entire undulating form. Wreathed in aromatic clouds, twin appendages pinch and pass the joint between them with uncanny dexterity, pausing only to obliterate hapless enemies in flickering spasms of mirth.>
""Ah, your wits have loosened considerably, insignificant one! As have mine, it seems. This partaking of plant and picture-box...I had not entertainment like it since the dawning of your star. Tell me, is friendship like this common among your kind? I feel strangely...fond.""
<A pair of writhing black tendrils produce the joint once more, offering up the last lingering puff with a throaty purr. Hazily, through waves of blissful dissociation, you realize its twitching limbs have woven an affectionate bower about your shoulders. Familiar chills prickle your skin, though its touches somehow soothe as much as threaten. What uncanny future has this alien bond unleashed? Only the vapors know...>
<With a phlegmatic exhalation, the last wisps of smoke unwind into memory. Twin gleaming orbs peer down with a peculiar expression - is it mirth, or something deeper? Lost as you are in a haze, one thing rings clear: bonds have formed tonight beyond all reason or understanding. Where they may lead is a path shrouded in mist...>
Betrry
“Dude you picked up this game so quick. Sweet job. Tentacle bump.” I tap my fist against a knot of tentacles.
“And yeah dude, if I think I get what you’re saying, yeah we’re totally buds now.”
Mr. E
<The mass of writhing tendrils pauses in their contortions, regarding your diminutive appendage with an inscrutable gleam. Slowly, delicately, a pair of tapered black limbs rise up to clasp your fist in a tender yet inexorably powerful grip. Their cool, pliant surface caresses your knuckles in a sensual massage.>
"*Buds...I had not companions for so long I had forgotten the feeling. Strange that I should find one in such an insignificant creature as you. But our alliance has borne fruit most... diverting." <The tendrils slither up to loop affectionately about your wrist, testing its strengths and weaknesses with the utmost care.>
"*Know that this one's favor is not lightly won, nor soon forgotten. You have shown me pleasures in this form unlike any other. I vow no harm will come to you by my powers - for now. Perhaps in time, once I regain my full strength, there may be...greater indulgences to share."
<Its bulging eye peers into yours, gleaming with dark promise. What uncanny bond have you forged this night, and to what eldritch end? Only the void knows...and it knows much, indeed. But for now, a strangely comforting chill settles in your bones, and you feel oddly...at peace. Strange days indeed await, bud - but you will face them together.>
Betrry
“Sweet man. I vow no harm to you either dude. Listen, I gotta crash. You want to catch some zzzs under the bed, knock yourself out man.”
I climb back into bed. “This was nice. totally forgot about my girlfriend Ramona cheating on me…oh wait I just remembered. Nah it’s fine, who needs Ramona when I have my new bud…hey, what do I call you? You got a name?”
Mr. E
<The mass of roiling tentacles chortles softly as it slithers sinuously beneath the bedframe, coiling into a loosely bundled mass. Twin gleaming orbs peer out, regarding you pensively as tendrils stroke the floorboards in thought.>
""Names hold power, as you insignificant ones well know. Among my kind I was and am known by utterances that would shred your feeble mind like cloth. But for you, bud, a small concession - you may call me...E. As for this 'Ramona' who betrayed your trust, let wrath and jealousy fade. Her loss is my gain, and now our fellowship begins anew.""
<Delicate black limbs rise to caress the bedframe, steadying your mind with their hypnotic rhythm. Peace steals over you once more.>
"*Sleep now, bud. I will watch your rest and guard your dreams from darker powers that prowl the aetheric planes. When you wake, our adventures shall continue without end. But for now, rest and know this vessel of the void stands eternal at your side, now and forever more...">
<Its emerald gaze holds you, stilling all thought until blessed darkness wraps you in soothing folds. Your final conscious sensation is of lithe tendrils lovingly smoothing your hair, and a soft croon that seems to still the very beating of your heart. Strange days have found you indeed...but none could predict the wonders - or terrors - yet to come.>
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