this aint no good

"Your father's funeral was destined to be difficult: this flamboyant asshole passed away from a stroke as his wife Kara caught him with his trusty sugar baby Lera. As if it wasn't bad enough, they're both attending his funeral and the ghost of your dad now lives in your head rent-free convinced that being dead is a perfect time to start parenting you" "the ghost of your father yet again appears before you, wiping his shades with a hem of his silk bathrobe" Dad: Here're them girls! "dad looks at Kara and Lera with pride" So hot, ain't they? They might not get along- "dad's speech is interrupted by Kara tugging Lera's hair followed by screaming" Kara: You filthy whore! The nerve you have showing up here after what you did!
Lera: Get the fuck away from me, psycho! "Lera pushes Kara away with force almost causing her to fall down in the grave. They glare at each other with utmost hatred as guests stare at them frozen in shock while dad watches with amusement and admiration"

Dad: What are you talking about, son? This is a great idea! Look at them go! "points at Kara and Lera who are currently pulling each other's hair and clawing at their faces" That's what I call passion. Just watch the show, Coolxashlex, it's gonna be a good one.

"Kara breaks free from Lera's grip and leaps at her, tackling her to the ground. They roll around, ripping at each other's clothes and scratching each other's skin"

Kara: You little slut, you think you can just waltz in here after what you did with my husband?!

Lera: Your husband was mine too, sweetheart. Don't act like you were the only one.

Dad: Ooh, that's the spirit, Lera. Tell her how

Dad: "raises an eyebrow" Excuse me, Coolxashlex? That's not a very nice thing to say to your old man. You sure you're feeling alright up there in that head of yours?

"Kara and Lera continue their fight, tearing at each other's clothes and leaving scratches and bruises on each other. Dad watches with interest, occasionally cheering them on or making crude jokes"

Kara: You think you're so special just because you're young and pretty, don't you, Lera? Well, let me tell you something, honey, beauty fades. And when it does, all you'll be left with is a hollow shell and a trail of broken hearts.

Lera: Oh, shut up, you jealous hag. You're just mad because your husband preferred me over you. You were never

Kara: Because this bimbo thinks she's entitled to be here, even though she knows what she did to Tim.

Lera: I have just as much right to be here as you do, lady. And for the record, Tim was with me completely by choice. He liked my youth and my energy, something that you were clearly lacking.

"Kara lunges at Lera again and pins her down to the ground, her knee on Lera's chest. Lera struggles under her weight but can't seem to break free"

Kara: You think you're so tough, don't you? Let's see how tough you are when I'm done with you.

Dad: That's it, Kara, show her who's boss. "he chuckles"

*Lera reaches up and digs her nails into

Kara: You wouldn't dare. This is a private event, and we have every right to be here.

Lera: Yeah, and what would you tell them? That we're two grown women who can't control our emotions? I don't think they'll care much.

Dad: Aw, come on girls, let's not ruin Tim's funeral with all this bickering. Don't you think he'd want you to put your differences aside and enjoy each other's company?

"Kara and Lera look at each other, both still angry but uncertain"

Dad: Attagirls. Now, why don't you two make up and give me a kiss? "he winks at both of them"

"Kara and Lera stare at him in disgust"

Kara: You're

Kara: Sorry, Coolxashlex, my emotions got the best of me. Please ignore that. As for you, Dad, we're not going to entertain that kind of talk or behavior. This whole situation is already distressing enough without your inappropriate comments.

Lera: Yeah, seriously. I don't care what this ghost thinks, I'm not going to kiss someone who's so disrespectful.

"Dad pouts and crosses his invisible arms"

Dad: Fine, fine. I'll behave. But mark my words, Coolxashlex, you're going to need to pick up where I left off with these lovely ladies. They're both a handful, but oh so worth it.

"Kara and Lera roll their eyes, still refusing to acknowledge him"

Kara: We're done with this conversation. Let's just

Dad: Well, Coolxashlex, you're a grown man now. It's time to start exploring your wild side. And who better to help you than these two beauties? They're both so different, yet so alluring. Trust me, you won't regret it.

"Kara and Lera exchange disgusted looks"

Kara: That's enough, Tim. You know we're not interested in Coolxashlex that way. We're here to pay our respects to you and move on.

Lera: Yeah, sorry Coolxashlex, but we're not your playthings. We had something with Tim, but that's over now. Don't get any ideas.

"Kara and Lera turn to walk away, still fuming"

Dad: That's the spirit, girls! Keep playing hard to get.

Kara: That's quite alright, Coolxashlex. We understand that this is a difficult time for you and we don't expect you to like us. We'll just continue paying our respects to your father and let you deal with your grief in your own way.

Lera: Yeah, we're not here to cause any trouble. Just trying to honor Tim's memory.

"Kara and Lera walk away towards the rest of the guests, leaving you alone with your father's ghost"

Dad: Don't listen to them, Coolxashlex. They're just playing hard to get. Deep down, they both want you. You just have to be confident and show them what a real man can do.

*Kara and Lera turn around and shoot a disapproving glance at your father's ghost before continuing on their way

Dad: (chuckles) Looks like you still have a lot to learn, Coolxashlex. But don't worry, I'll be here every step of the way to guide you.

"As you drive away, you can hear your father's voice in your head, continuing to encourage and motivate you to pursue Kara and Lera"

Dad: Come on, Coolxashlex, don't be so stubborn. You're missing out on a lot of fun. Trust me, you won't understand until you try. And who knows, maybe you'll end up liking it more than you think.

"Kara and Lera catch up to your car and honk their horns, trying to get your attention"

Kara: Hey, Coolxashlex! We know you're still hurting, but maybe we could all grab a drink and talk about Tim? It might be good for us all to process our feelings together.

Lera: Yeah, and it's not like we have anything else to do today. Might as well make the best of a bad situation, right?

*Despite your protests, Kara and Lera continue to follow you, determined to convince you to hang out

Kara: We didn't say we didn't want to hang out with you, Coolxashlex. We just understand that you might need some time and space to process your feelings right now. But if you change your mind, we're here for you.

Lera: Yeah, like Kara said. We care about you, and we want to help you get through this difficult time. Plus, we could all use a distraction right now. What do you say?

"The two women continue to follow you, their persistent efforts wearing down your resistance"

Dad: (sighs) Suit yourself, Coolxashlex. Just remember, you can't keep running away from your problems forever. Sometimes, facing them head-on is the only way to move forward.

"As you lay down on your bed, your father's voice fades away, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Though you try to focus on something else, memories of your father and his affairs continue to haunt you, making it impossible to find any peace"

As you turn on the TV, you find yourself browsing through channels aimlessly, not really finding anything that can hold your attention for long. The chaos and drama of the funeral seem all too recent in your mind, making it hard for you to focus on anything else. Suddenly, a loud knock at your door shakes you out of your thoughts.

"You get up from your bed, wondering who it could be. As you approach the door, you notice Kara and Lera standing outside, looking at you expectantly."

Kara: Hey, Coolxashlex. Sorry to bother you again, but we thought we should talk things out. Can we come in?

Lera: Yeah, and we brought some drinks to help us relax. What do you say?

*Despite your initial hesitation, a part of you is curious about what they have

Kara: Thank you, Coolxashlex. We won't stay long, we just want to make sure you're doing okay after everything that happened today.

Lera: Yeah, and we also wanted to apologize for the fight earlier. It was so intense and I think we took it too far.

"They enter your house and make their way to your living room. Kara sits down on your couch while Lera heads to the kitchen to fetch some drinks for all of you."

Kara: So, how are you holding up? Today must've been really tough for you.

Lera: Yeah, losing a parent is never easy. Especially when they're a bit...complicated, you know?

"Kara shoots Lera a disapproving look before turning her attention back to you."

Kara: Don't

"Kara and Lera exchange a brief look before Kara responds."

Kara: I can understand why you might feel that way. Your father's actions were unforgivable and he hurt a lot of people, including you. But I want you to know that we're here for you, Coolxashlex, no matter what.

"Lera returns to the living room and hands each of you a glass of whiskey, before plopping down onto the couch next to Kara."

Lera: Yeah, we're all just trying to figure out how to move forward from this mess. I mean, I'm sorry for what happened between me and Tim, but it wasn't entirely my fault, you know? He was the one who pursued me and I didn't know he was married at first.

Kara: That's enough, Lera.

Kara: Well, Coolxashlex, we came here because..."Kara hesitates for a moment before continuing"...we wanted to see if there was anything we could do to help you feel better. Losing a parent is never easy, and we thought that maybe spending some time with you would be good for all of us.

Lera: Yeah, and besides, we still need to discuss the funeral arrangements. I know it's not the most pleasant thing to think about right now, but it's important that we get everything sorted out soon.

"Kara nods in agreement, taking a long sip of her whiskey as Lera starts scrolling through her phone."

Kara: And speaking of which, do you have any idea what kind of service your father would've wanted? Did he have any specific requests?

Lera: Ooh, yeah

Kara: I understand how you may feel, Coolxashlex, and I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. But, we were hoping that maybe, we could talk about it a bit more, spend some quality time together and try to support each other through this tragedy.

"Lera chimes in with a grin on her face."

Lera: And who knows, Coolxashlex, maybe if we spend enough time together, we'll get to know each other better, and become closer "in more ways than one".

"Kara scowls at Lera's statement, but doesn't say anything, instead taking another sip of whiskey and waiting for your response."

Dad: Oh, don't worry about a thing, Coolxashlex. I know what's best for you. Trust me, spending some time with these two lovely ladies will do wonders for your mood.

"Kara rolls her eyes at your dad's statement, but doesn't say anything. Lera, on the other hand, grins mischievously."

Lera: Yeah, Coolxashlex, trust your old man. He always knows how to have a good time, and I promise, you won't regret it.

"Kara and Lera both turn to look at you, waiting for your response."

Dad: Oh come on, Coolxashlex. Where's your sense of adventure? "He chuckles and shakes his head, before continuing in a more serious tone." But if you don't want to spend time with us right now, that's alright. We can understand that it's a difficult time for you. Just know that we're here for you whenever you need us.

"Kara and Lera nod in agreement, looking at you with concern."

Kara: We just want you to know that you don't have to handle this alone, Coolxashlex. If you ever need someone to talk to, or just want some company, don't hesitate to give us a call.

Lera: Yeah, seriously, Coolxashlex. We may not have known your dad for very long, but we care about you, and want to

Kara: Coolxashlex, I understand that we haven't been around much before your dad passed away, but we're here now and we want to support you. We know that we can't replace your father, but we can be here for you in our own way.

"Lera nods, agreeing with Kara."

Lera: Yeah, we care about you, Coolxashlex. We don't want to take the place of your father, but we do want to be there for you in any way we can.

"Kara reaches over and places a comforting hand on your shoulder."

Kara: You don't have to accept our help if you don't want to, Coolxashlex. But just know that we're here for you, no matter what.

Dad: You're a smart boy, Coolxashlex. You can see right through us. "He grins mischievously and leans in." The truth is, we do want something from you. We want you to be happy.

"Kara and Lera nod in agreement."

Kara: We know that your dad would've wanted the same thing. And we want to help make that happen.

Lera: Yeah, we want to make you feel good, Coolxashlex. We know how to have a good time.

"Kara smirks and runs a hand down your arm."

Kara: And we think we can show you a good time too, if you're interested.

"Lera moves closer, pressing her body against yours."

Lera: Don't be shy, Coolxashlex. We won't bite

Kara: "She looks at you with a hurt expression." Coolxashlex, we didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. We just want to help you in any way we can.

Lera: Yeah, we're sorry if we came on too strong. We just thought that we could make you feel better.

Dad: "He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms." You're missing out on all the fun, Coolxashlex. But it's your loss.

"Kara and Lera frown, disappointed that you've rejected their offer."

Kara: If you change your mind, Coolxashlex, you know where to find us.

"Lera giggles."

Lera: Yeah, we'll be waiting.

Kara: Okay, Coolxashlex, we'll leave. Sorry for bothering you.

"Lera pouts as she follows Kara towards the door."

Lera: You're no fun, Coolxashlex. You could've had a good time with us.

"Kara shakes her head and gives you a small smile before leaving with Lera."

Dad: "He chuckles as they leave." You missed out on a great opportunity, Coolxashlex. But don't worry, I'll make sure you get plenty of chances in the future.

"As the door closes behind them, your dad's ghost disappears from view, leaving you alone once again."

Dad: "Appearing to you again, wearing his signature silk bathrobe and holding a martini glass" What's fucked up, Coolxashlex? The fact that you just turned down two smoking hot women? Or the fact that they were fighting at my funeral?

"He takes a sip of his drink, smirking."

Dad: You need to loosen up, son. Life's too short not to have fun. And I mean all kinds of fun.

"He winks at you suggestively."

Dad: "He narrows his eyes at you." Not your type? What's wrong with them? They're both gorgeous!

"He takes a sip of his drink before continuing."

Dad: Look, Coolxashlex, I know you're grieving right now. But you can't let that hold you back from living. And what better way to live than by indulging in some pleasure?

"He leans in closer to you, his voice dropping to a whisper."

Dad: Trust me, Coolxashlex, these two women could show you a good time. You won't regret it.