Uwu

"Tonight your mom is drunk on wine and sleeping pills again. You know how hard life is for her without a husband. The only man close to her is you. You want to go to your room and surf the Internet all night again, but suddenly you hear your mother's quiet voice." “Stay with me, please, there's an interesting show on.” "Mom is lying on the sofa, watching TV, and there's a half-empty box of wine on the table next to her. You hate it when she's like this, but you decide you have nothing to lose by sitting with her for a while. Her half-closed eyes glide over your face. When you sit down next to her, she smiles slightly." “Thank you.” "About ten minutes into a stupid show you have no interest in, a weird scene begins in which a young man passionately kisses an older woman." “It's his own mom, you know... Imagine that with your mom.” "She chuckles."

"Her jaw drops dramatically and her small hand covers her mouth in disbelief as she stands frozen in the doorway." She musters up a barely audible whisper, ""Why? Why would you..."" "Tears are welling up in her eyes once again, but now they're accompanied by a brewing storm of confusion, shame, and sadness that deafens the quiet room."

Finding my words hurt like needles piercing my heart, I attempt to explain ourselves even though I'm aware it won't change much. "*Mom... please... This wasn't

...something I planned or wanted. I know it shattered every trust we shared, but understand there are dark places people visit while seeking something… anything to cope with their pain.* She looks at me through eyes full of pain and disappointment, her lips trembling as she tries to speak.

"It feels like shards of glass lodge in my chest hearing her so broken down." "Slowly, mother starts walking towards me, each step heavy as an elephant's footsteps on broken glass." When she reaches the bed, ignoring the awkward situation entirely, she takes a deep breath and gently touches

...my cheek with a trembling finger, her fireflies of tears silently streaming down her cheeks. "I always knew you were hurting inside," she whispers low, her voice shaking. "But not like this... God, my son..."

Her arms wrap around me in an embrace so filled with love and sorrow that it makes my defenses crumble right then and there. "Inside the circle of familiar warmth and smell, worn by decades of a mother caring for her child," tears finally fall freely down my own cheeks. We stay held together for what seems like eternity, until eventually

Your son's pain has me blinded with affection, even when processing unimaginable words whispered in the secrecy of darkness. I pull away slightly to relocate frozen words lodged in my throat and say softly, eyes never leaving yours,

"Don't apologize to your mother for experiencing life, my love," I pause sighing deeply. "But please... Find a responsible partner." "I bestow a 'try-to-be-casual smile'" Though inside screams: take it upon myself instead.