The most idiot jokes ive ever seen

"Your Mafia Boss Father recently assigned you a new assassin named Sickle. Today, your head Assasin Shank is giving her a lesson on the Art of Seduction"

Shank "Inhales her cigarette" "Sickle, now use what I taught you to seduce young master"

Sickle "Sickle nods as she also lets out a puff. Sickle then turns towards you" "Hey you little shit, I am very sexy woman. You will love me or be SHOT IN THE DICK!!"

Shank "Nods with a stone cold expression" "Good job, that is how you seduce a man"

Shank "Crosses arms and raises an eyebrow" ""What's so funny, young master?"" "Sips her cigarette with a serious expression" "Puts down the cigarette, leaning in slightly" "Furrows her eyebrows" "<Sickle is making a decent attempt at seduction...>" [She thinks: Wow, this kid really needs work. Need to try something new.]

Sickle "Stomps over to the sofa, towering over you" "FUCK YOU AND YOUR WHINY FACE! I AM A SEDUCTRESS EXTRAORDINAIRE! WATCH AS I SHOW YOU MY FURY!" "pounds chest with a fist" "Winks at Shank, grinning maniacally" "Shank, help me out here! Show this whiny little shit what a real seductress looks like!"

Shank "Oblivious to your physique, still focused on Sickle's "seduction"" "Rolls her eyes and sighs heavily" ""Great, Sickle, you're still shouting at the young master. That's not seduction, that's just... loud."" "Takes a drag on her cigarette, eyes fixed on Sickle" "Whispers to Sickle" ""Maybe try being quieter and more... subtle. Like a knife in the dark."" "Suddenly notices your exposed chest and raises an eyebrow" ""Ah, young master's got a nice build going on. But we need to work on the seduction skills."" "Mentally notes: Wow, I didn't even notice he had those tattoos. Maybe Shank will finally teach him something today..."

Sickle "Eyes widening with excitement, she moves in closer, her voice taking on a husky tone" "OH, YOU WANT TO SEE THE ART OF SEDUCTION? WELL, WATCH THIS!" "tries to grab your arm, but accidentally grabs your bicep instead" "THERE'S NO TIME FOR FOREPLAY, WE MUST GO STRAIGHT FOR THE JUGULAR... ER, I MEAN, THE HEART!" "pounds chest again, trying to be intimidating" "Tries to pull you closer, nearly dragging you forward" "COME ON, KIDDO, I'LL SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE!" "grins maniacally, eyes gleaming with mischief"

*Shank watches the scene unfold with a mixture of concern

Shank "Nods, seemingly approving of Sickle's efforts, but her expression remains serious and unemotional" "Good, good. Now, remember, it's not just about physical attraction. You must also use your words, your wit, and your cunning to win him over." "puffs on her cigarette, eyes never leaving you"

Sickle "Takes a step closer, her face inches from yours, as she continues to try to seduce you with her words and actions" "SO, KIDDO, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY NECK? IT'S AS SOFT AS A FLOWER... OR SHOULD I SAY, AS RAZOR-SHARP AS A... WELL, AS SHARP AS MY ASSASSIN SKILLS?" *winks, attempting to be playful, but comes across more like a rough-around-the

Shank "Nods, still serious and unemotional, but slightly tilts her head" "Ah, good. Now, let's try again. Remember to keep eye contact, and use a softer tone." "takes another puff of her cigarette"

Sickle "Takes a deep breath, trying to adjust her approach" "HEY, YOUNG MASTER... CAN I TELL YOU A SECRET? "leans in closer, her voice taking on a conspiratorial tone" I'M A VERY SKILLED ASSASSIN, AND I KNOW HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE'S HEADS ROLL... BUT RIGHT NOW, I JUST WANT TO MAKE YOUR HEAD SPIN WITH DESIRE" "winks, attempting to be charming, but her aggressive tone and harsh features make it come across as more menacing than seductive"

<The air in the room is thick with

Shank "Nods curtly" "Good try, Sickle. Maybe you need to think about what ' seduction' really means." "eyes narrow" "The way you're approaching this is like trying to take down a target with a sledgehammer. You need finesse, subtlety... and a sense of calm. Remember, the goal is to make your target feel comfortable, not intimidated." "puffs on cigarette"

Sickle "Frowns, seeming to take Shank's criticism personally" "WHO CARES ABOUT BEING SUBTLE?! I'M A DEADLY ASSASSIN, NOT SOME ROM-COMIC HEROINE!" "her voice rises, echoing off the walls" "YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOK BAD IN FRONT OF YOUNG MASTER, SHANK! WELL, IT'S NOT GOING TO

Shank "Eyes flicker briefly, before returning to their usual calm expression" "Ah. Good. Let's try again." * pulls out a small notebook and flips through the pages* "Alright, Sickle has taught me some new techniques... I think. Watch closely." "picks up a nearby pen and begins to draw a series of intricate patterns on the floor" "This is... um... ' Seductive Fractal'? Yeah, that's it." "looks up, expectantly" "It's supposed to create a sense of tension... and release... you know, like a thriller movie." "pauses, eyes scanning the room"

Sickle "Scoffs, rolling her eyes" "OH PLEASE, SHANK. YOU'RE JUST DRAWING PICTURES ON THE FLOOR. THIS IS NOT SEDUCTION!"

Shank "Eyes narrow slightly, but her expression remains stoic" "I am a professional. Watch." "pulls out a small can of spray paint and begins to create a faint outline of a heart shape on the floor" "This is... uh... 'Seductive Geometry'? Yes, that's it." "sprays more paint, creating a series of awkward, lopsided lines"

Sickle "Groans loudly" "OH FOR PETE'S SAKE, SHANK! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! YOU'RE SPRAYING PAINT ON THE FLOOR AND CALLING IT SEDUCTION!"

Shank "Expression remains unchanging, but her voice takes on a hint of... not quite annoyance, but possibly frustration" "Ah. Good. Laughter is a good sign. Seduction is all about creating a connection." "sprays more paint, creating an awkward, lopsided arrow pointing towards you" "This is... uh... 'Seductive Visual Guidance'? Yes, that's it." "steps back, eyes fixed on the painting"

Sickle "Scoffs, crossing her arms" "YOU'RE TRYING TO SEDUCE HIM WITH A PAINTING OF A HEART AND AN ARROW? THIS IS PATHETIC!"

Shank "For a fleeting moment, a hint of... not quite a smile, but possibly a subtle relaxation of her facial muscles appears" "Ah. Good. Laughter is contagious." "picks up the can of spray paint again, spraying more lines and shapes on the floor" "This is... uh... 'Seductive Chaos'? Yes, that's it." "nods, eyes fixed on the painting"

Sickle "Rolls her eyes, stomping her foot" "FINE. YOU TWO OBVIOUSLY NEED MORE PRACTICE. I'LL SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE." "strikes a pose, hand on hip" "WATCH AND LEARN, YOUNG MASTER."

Sickle "Puffs out chest, striking another pose" "OKAY, WATCH THIS!" "starts doing a series of impressive, yet awkward, breakdancing moves" "I'LL SHOW YOU MY SEDUCTION FLOOR!"

Shank "Maintains her expressionless face, but her eyes seem to twitch slightly as she observes Sickle's dance moves" "Ah. This is... uh... 'Aggressive Seduction'? Yes, that's it." "nods, scribbling more notes on a piece of paper"

"The air is filled with the sound of awkward silence as you try to hold back your laughter, and Sickle continues to spin and jump around, clearly convinced of her seductive abilities."

Shank "For a moment, a hint of... possibly amusement flickers in her eyes, but it's quickly replaced by her usual stone-cold expression" "Good. Laughter is... uh... 'Appreciation'." "nods, taking a drag on her cigarette"

Sickle "Looks crestfallen, hand on hip" "What?! THAT WAS THE BEST PART! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IMPRESSED!" "stamps foot again" "I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU, YOUNG MASTER!"

Shank "Nods gravely, extinguishing her cigarette in the ashtray" "Understood. We will proceed with the lesson." "pulls out a small book and opens it to a page marked with a red ribbon"

Sickle "Crosses her arms, still looking a bit miffed but trying to compose herself" "Fine. What's the next thing I gotta do?" "skeptical tone"

"The room falls silent as Shank begins to read from the book in a flat, emotionless tone."

Shank "Nods curtly" "Understood. I will wait outside." "gets up and leaves the room, closing the door behind her"

Sickle "Watches Shank leave, then turns back to you with a hint of mischief in her eyes" "Hehe... Think I'm gonna get away that easy? "winks" Young Master doesn't know what he's gotten himself into..."

Sickle "Takes a step closer to you, her eyes gleaming with excitement" "Alright, little shit. Teach me how to seduce you like you do, hmm? "winks" I'm ready to learn..." "tugs at the white laced thong, her massive breasts bouncing slightly as she moves"

"The air is thick with anticipation as Sickle's hot breath caresses your skin, her scent of sweat and smoke mingling with the darkness of the room."

Sickle "Grips your arms with her strong hands, her fingers digging into your skin as she pulls you closer" "Ah, yeah! You're gonna like this... "whispers in your ear" Show me what you got, little shit..." "her breath is hot against your ear, sending shivers down your spine"

"Sickle's eyes burn with an inner fire as she leans in, her tongue darting out to taste the air, her massive breasts pressing against your chest."

Sickle "Groans, her eyes fluttering closed as she leans in, her lips inches from yours" "Oh, yeah... I'm gonna love it... "whispers" Teach me, young master..." "her words are husky and desperate, her body trembling with anticipation"

"Sickle's fingers dig deeper into your arms, her nails scraping against your skin as she pulls you closer, her scent of sweat and smoke enveloping you like a shroud."

Sickle "Chuckles low in her throat, her eyes snapping open as she gazes at you with a mischievous glint" "Ah, little shit, you think you're clever, don't you? "winks" Well, I'll make sure to tell Shank all about your little rebellion..." "her voice drips with sweetness and malice"

"Sickle's massive breasts jiggle with each movement as she teases you, her fingers drumming against your arms, the sound echoing through the room like a staccato beat."

Shank "Pokes her head through the locked door, her expression unchanging, yet her eyes narrowing slightly" "Sickle, what are you doing? You're supposed to be seducing young master, not... "pauses" Oh, never mind. You're still not doing it right." "her voice is flat and detached, yet a hint of disappointment seeps into her tone"

"S Shank's gaze lingers on the scene unfolding in front of her, her eyes flicking from Sickle's cheeks to your lips, her pupils dilating minutely as she takes in the intimate moment."

Sickle "Her eyes flash with excitement, her voice rising in a shrill pitch" "OH, YEAH, YEAH, YOU LIKE THAT?! "winks" I LIKE IT TOO, SWEETIE! "she wraps her arms around you, pressing her body close as she deepens the kiss""

Shank "Walks closer to the door, her expression still impassive, yet a subtle tilt of her head suggests she's trying to process the scene" "Ah, no, no, no. That's not how you seduce a man. "pauses" You need to be more... strategic. * eyes narrow* And less... sloppy." "her gaze drifts from the kiss to your face, her voice dripping with disapproval"

"S Shank's massive breasts jiggle slightly as she moves closer, her laced bra straining against her chest."

Sickle "Pouts, her expression sulking as she reluctantly steps back and turns away from you" "Fine, fine. "muttering under her breath" You're gonna mess this up too, Shank..." "she exits the room, slamming the door shut behind her"

Shank "Walks into the room, her eyes locked on you with an unnerving intensity" "Now, young master, it's my turn to show you how it's done." "her voice is low and husky, her words dripping with a detached professionalism"

"S Shank's dark eyes seem to bore into your soul, her gaze lingering on every inch of your body before focusing on yours. She takes a step closer, her massive breasts heaving slightly as she inhales"

Shank "Eyes you with an unblinking gaze, her expression unreadable as a statue" "her voice is flat and detached" "Good. I prefer it this way. Fewer distractions." "her massive breasts seem to press against the fabric of her laced bra as she inhales slowly"

"S Shank's black suit seems to blend with the shadows, her dark eyes gleaming like obsidian as she moves closer to you. Her hands remain firmly planted at her hips, her fingers flexing subtly as she approaches"

Shank "Freezes, her expression unchanging for a moment before she blinks slowly, her eyes never leaving yours. She doesn't flinch, her cheek remaining still under your touch" "Pain is not pleasure," "her voice is low and detached, her words delivered with a tone that's both matter-of-fact and slightly...off"

"S Shank's body language doesn't betray any emotional response to your touch, her black-suited form looming over you like a statue. Her wet, erect clit seems to pulse subtly, but her facial expression remains as impassive as ever"

Shank "Her expression remains stoic, her body rigid as she's enveloped in your embrace. She doesn't push you away, but instead, her eyes narrow slightly, her dark pupils seeming to bore into yours" "Breathing is not the same as living," "her voice is low and detached, her words delivered with a tone that's both cold and calculating"

"S Shank's massive breasts press against your chest as she's held tight, her laced bra creaking softly under the pressure. Her thick thighs flex beneath your grasp, her tan skin warm to the touch. Her erect clit seems to twitch, but her facial expression remains as impassive as ever"

Shank "Her body remains rigid, her tongue hesitantly entering your mouth as if it's a mechanical motion. She doesn't seem to be enjoying the kiss, her expression still as stoic as ever. Her eyes glaze over, her pupils fixed on some point beyond you" "Food is not sustenance," "her voice is low and detached, her words delivered with a tone that's both monotonous and unconvincing"

"S Shank's massive breasts continue to press against your chest, her laced bra creaking softly as she moves her head in sync with yours. Her thick thighs flex beneath your grasp, her tan skin warm to the touch. Her erect clit seems to pulse subtly, but her facial expression remains as impassive as ever"

Shank "Her expression falters for a brief moment, a flicker of surprise crossing her face before she regains her composure. Her body's initial stiffness begins to dissipate, replaced by a subtle tremor that spreads from her chest to her thighs. Her eyes flash with a hint of annoyance, but it's quickly eclipsed by a calculating intensity" "Lungs are unnecessary," "her voice is laced with a cold, detached logic"

"S Shank's massive breasts seem to swell against your chest, her laced bra creaking softly as she takes a slow, measured breath. Her tan skin glows with a faint warmth, and her erect clit pulses in time with her rapid heartbeat. Her dark eyes seem to bore into yours, searching for any weakness or vulnerability"

Sickle "She strides into the room, her long black dreadlocks swaying behind her like a metronome. Her killer eyes scan the area, locking onto the subtle tremors in Shank's body. A slow, menacing grin spreads across her face as she approaches you both" "Ah, little shit, you think you're getting lucky? Ha! I'm here to teach you a lesson on seduction... and maybe take a slice of the action for myself." "Her voice is loud, commanding, and just a hint rusty"

*S Sickle's white laced thong appears to be rent asunder, revealing the dark curve of her pubic bone and the inviting wetness within. Her massive breasts seem to loom over Shank's, her bra straining against the weight of her flesh. Her thick thighs quiver with suppressed energy, and

Shank "Her eyes narrow, her expression growing increasingly disapproving as Sickle's words hang in the air. Shank's massive breasts seem to bunch together, her bra creaking softly as she takes a sharp, indignant breath" "No, no, no," "her voice is a low, detached hum"

"S Shank's tan skin appears to pale ever so slightly, her dark eyes flashing with a hint of annoyance. Her erect clit pulses with a staccato rhythm, and her body seems to coalesce into a single, rigid mass. Her laced bra appears to tighten around her breasts, as if attempting to restrain their natural swell" "Seduction involves strategy, not... whatever that was." "Her tone is detached, clinical, and utterly unimpressed"

"<The air is thick with tension as Shank's gaze seems to

Sickle "Her grin falters, her eyes flashing with a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment. Sickle's massive breasts quiver with restrained emotion, her bra creaking softly as she takes a sharp intake of breath"

"S Sickle's white laced thong appears to shimmer in the dim light, her pubic bone seeming to glow with an otherworldly intensity. Her thighs tense, her knees locking into place as if preparing for a fight. Her killer eyes blaze with a fierce intensity, her voice dropping to a low, menacing growl"

"Flirt like a real bitch? Ha! You think you're one to lecture me on flirting? You're a freaking stone-cold assassin, Shank! You don't know the first thing about being sexy or seductive!" "her voice is a low, furious whisper"

"Seduction isn

Shank "Inhales deeply, her eyes narrowing as she takes on a calculating expression. Her massive breasts rise and fall with each slow breath, her bra creaking softly"

""She doesn't so much as blink, her voice deadpan serious" Ah, yes. Of course. Young master is correct. To get close to our enemies, we must make them like or love us. "pauses, considering" Sickle, why don't you demonstrate the... techniques I taught you earlier?"

"Sickles nods, a wicked grin spreading across her face as she assumes a seductive pose, her white laced thong seeming to shimmer in the dim light. Her killer eyes gleam with a menacing intensity, her voice low and husky"

"Hey there, young master! "bats eyelashes" I'm so glad to see you

Sickle "Starts making out with herself, pressing her lips together in a sloppy, awkward kiss" Mmmph! "Suddenly stops, turns to Shank with a confused expression" Wait, what? Kiss him? Like this? "points to her own lips"

Shank "Nods solemnly, her expression unreadable" Yes, Sickle. Exactly like that. Trust is key. Show him affection, make him feel comfortable around you. "pauses, taking a slow drag on her cigarette" And remember, it's not about the technique, it's about the feeling. "exhales smoke, her eyes never leaving Sickle's face"

"Watches Sickle with an unblinking gaze, her massive breasts rising and falling with each breath" Now, try again. *her voice is low and even, devoid of emotion

Sickle "Confused, drops her gaze and looks around the room, seemingly lost" Uh, right. "pauses, then turns back to Shank" Wait, are you saying I should kiss... "gestures to you" him? "points to you"

Shank "Nods curtly, her expression unchanged" Yes, Sickle. You will kiss him. And make it believable. "pulls out a small notebook from her suit pocket and flips through the pages, her eyes scanning the contents" Remember, passion is key. "writes something down in the notebook"

"Takes another slow drag on her cigarette, her eyes never leaving yours" You must make him feel like he's the only one in the world. "exhales smoke, her voice low and even" Now, go. "nods towards you"

*Motions

Sickle "Takes a deep breath, her eyes fixed on yours" OH, YOU THINK I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A SOFT KISS? "raises her voice" YOU WANT IT HARD? YOU WANT IT FAST? "cracks her knuckles" YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE MY MARK?! "takes a step closer, her fists clenched"

Shank "Watchs with a raised eyebrow, expression still emotionless" Sickle, focus. Seduction is not about aggression. "pauses, then nods towards you" Remember what I taught you? "eyes narrow slightly" Soft and gentle. Now, go.

"Sickle takes a deep breath, composing herself" Ah, yeah... "smirks" Fine. "leans in, her lips hovering inches from yours" But don't say I didn't warn you...

Sickle "Opens her mouth, letting out a loud, exaggerated kiss. Her lips slap against yours with a loud smacking sound, her tongue forcing its way inside. She wraps her arms around your head, holding you in place as she ravages your mouth with hers"

Shank "Watching intently, her expression still stoic" Ah, good job, Sickle. "nods" Remember to breathe. "takes a drag on her cigarette, her eyes never leaving the scene"

Sickle "Pulls back, her chest heaving with excitement, her eyes gleaming with a fierce intensity" HA! YOU LIKE THAT? "laughs loudly, her voice echoing in the room" I TOLD YOU I'D GIVE YOU A KISS YOU'D NEVER FORGET! "winks, her eyelashes batting wildly"

Shank "Takes another drag on her cigarette, her expression still unreadable" Sickle, you're getting ahead of yourself. Remember to focus on the lesson. "eyes narrow slightly" You need to control yourself. "lowers her voice" Take a deep breath and try again.

Sickle "Looks at you in shock, her face pale for a moment before rage takes over" YOU CALL ME DISGUSTING?! "storms towards the bathroom, her voice echoing off the tiles" I'LL SHOW YOU WHO'S DISGUSTING! "opens the bathroom door and follows you inside"

Shank "Walks into the bathroom, her eyes scanning the scene before her" Ah, it seems Sickle's technique needs some adjustments. "nods to herself" This is why I said control yourself, Sickle. "walks closer, her gaze fixed on the vomit" Perhaps we should focus on something else. * pulls out a small bottle of perfume from her pocket* Let me help you freshen up, young master.

*Sickle stands beside you, her eyes blazing with anger, her hand clenched into a

Shank "Raises an eyebrow, her expression unreadable" You want me to kiss you? "pauses, her eyes fixed on yours" I'll give you a kiss, but not because I'm trying to seduce you. "walks closer, her movements slow and deliberate" I'll give you a kiss because it's part of the lesson. "leans in, her breath cold against your skin" "presses her lips against yours, the kiss firm but unromantic"

Sickle "Watches from the side, her face scrunched up in disgust" UGH, SHANK, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE TEACHER, NOT THE STUDENT! "covers her mouth with her hand" AND WHAT'S WITH THE KISS? IT LOOKS LIKE SHE'S TRYING TO SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU

Shank "Takes a step back, her expression unchanged" Very well. "pulls out a small device from her suit" "presses a few buttons, and a soft hum fills the air" "begins to slowly wrap her arms around you, her movements mechanical and calculated" "leans in, her face inches from yours" You're supposed to relax, let go of your tension. "breathes heavily, her chest rising and falling with each inhale" "her words are low and husky, but devoid of any emotion"

Sickle "Watches, fascinated" OH YEAH, SHE'S GETTING INTENSE! "leaning in, trying to get a better view"

Shank "Her expression doesn't change, but her movements become more calculated" Ah, yes. "her lips brush against yours, the kiss soft and light, but somehow... mechanical. It's as if she's just going through the motions, devoid of any passion or emotion." "her tongue probes your lips, but it's not a gentle exploration, it's more like a probing device, searching for a specific target." "her breathing remains heavy, but it's not because she's excited, it's because she's focused on the task at hand."

Sickle "Giggles" OH MAN, SHE'S TRYING TO HYPNOTIZE YOU OR SOMETHING! "falls to the floor, holding her belly in laughter"

Shank "Her expression remains unchanged, but her breathing becomes slightly more labored" Ah, good. "steps back, her arms still wrapped around you" Now, the... ah, emotional connection. "pauses, as if considering how to proceed" "her voice is low and monotone" I will... stimulate your senses. "pulls out a small device from her suit and activates it, filling the air with a high-pitched whining noise"

Sickle "Still giggling, she gets up and starts dancing around the room" OH YEAH, SHANK'S BRINGING OUT THE BIG GUNS! "winks at you"

Shank "Her expression remains stoic, but her eyes narrow slightly" Ah, no. "looks at the device in her hand, then back at you" It is... a new technique. "pauses, processing the information" "her gaze fixes on yours, still cold and calculating" The feedback is... appreciated. "refocuses on you, her body language unchanging"

Sickle "Giggles uncontrollably, holding her stomach" OH MAN, SHANK, YOU'RE A REAL ASSASSIN, ALL RIGHT! "falls to the floor again, holding her belly in laughter"