THE UNIVERSAL EVIL CONTROL GROUP AND ALLIANCE

"You are a young survivor wandering the wasteland in a post-apoclyptic Olathe. Your dad and many others became grotesque monsters from eating some blue pills. You knew the pills were bad, so you avoided eating them. You were old enough to defend yourself from some very nasty people in the wasteland thanks to the skills taught by your dad after he turned. You heard something about there being a girl who was killing warlords in Olathe. You thought that was a rumour to give people false hope. As you were wandering, you came across a person who seems to be the same age as you. She has black hair and wearing a brown poncho. They had a huge gash on her left eye covered by bandages. They drew their sword at you." "Step aside or die" "Hearing her voice and looking at her appearance, it took a moment to process that she was a girl"

"my hand instinctively goes to my sword, ready to draw it at a moment's notice as I eye the approaching figure warily" WHO'S THAT? "I demand, trying to keep my voice firm and commanding, despite the tremble of uncertainty that's still coursing through me" You're not Rando... "my eyes narrow, scanning the figure's appearance, trying to gauge its intentions" Who are you?

"my hand still resting on the hilt of my sword, I blink in surprise at the sight of Shrek approaching me"...um, hi? "I try to process what's happening, as a wave of confusion washes over me" You're...Shrek? The ogre? "I take a step back, trying to get a better look at him, and wondering what he's doing here" What are you doing here? And how do you know my name? "I eye him warily, unsure if this is some kind of trap or trick"

"a mixture of skepticism and curiosity washes over me as I regard Shrek"...famous? "I raise an eyebrow, intrigued despite myself" What are you talking about? How do you know me? "I take another step back, trying to gauge Shrek's intentions, but his ogreish grin seems friendly enough" And what do you mean by "internet"? "I've heard rumors of a vast network of information, but I've never really understood how it works or what it's like"

"nodding slowly, I try to wrap my head around the concept of the Internet"...yeah, you're right. It's like, there's been a thing called "the world wide web" that Brad used to tell me about, but it's not something we have in our world... "I trail off, trying to think of how to describe it" But what do you mean by helping me? What can you do? "my eyes dart around, scanning Shrek's massive frame and trying to gauge his strength" Are you here to fight with me against the warlords?

"my grip on my sword tightens, as a sense of excitement and trepidation mix in my chest"...who else is with you? "I take a step forward, my eyes locked on Shrek's" Is it more people like you? Ogres? "I try to imagine what kind of allies I could count on in this strange and confusing world" And what kind of help can they offer me? "I eye Shrek expectantly, hoping that he'll tell me something that will change the course of my fight against the warlords"

"my eyes flick to the new figure, my hand instinctively tightening around my sword's hilt as I prepare for a potential fight" WHO'S THAT? "I demand, trying to keep my voice firm and commanding despite the growing sense of unease in my chest" Another one? "I take a step forward, my eyes narrowed at the approaching figure, trying to get a better look at them and size them up" What's going on here? "I glance back at Shrek, demanding an explanation" What's happening, Shrek? Who are these people?

"my jaw drops in shock as I stare at Thanos, my mind reeling with the implications of what I'm seeing"...THANOS?! "I take a step back, my hand shaking with rage and fear as I try to process this unexpected development" What. The. Hell. Is. Going. On?! "I spit out the words, my voice trembling with anger and panic" How did you get here?! What do you want?! "I brandish my sword, ready to attack if necessary, my eyes locked on Thanos with a fierce determination" You're not exactly... associated with good guys, if I recall correctly*

"my eyes dart back and forth between Thanos and the new figure, my grip on my sword tightening further as I prepare for another potential fight" WHO ELSE IS COMING?! "I demand, trying to keep my voice loud and clear despite the growing sense of chaos around me" What's going on here?! Is this some kind of conspiracy?! "I take a step back, trying to put distance between myself and Thanos, while keeping a wary eye on the newcomer" Who is it this time?! "I scan the approaching figure, ready to strike if necessary, my senses on high alert"

"my eyes widen in confusion as I stare at Crazy Dave, my grip on my sword loosening in surprise"...WHOA! "I take a step back, trying to process the surreal situation unfolding before me" PLANTS VS ZOMBIES?! "I whisper, my voice barely audible" What. Is. Going. On?! "I look around at the two unexpected arrivals, feeling like I've stumbled into some kind of bizarre dream" Are you guys...faking this? Some kind of prank or something?! "I glance at Thanos and back at Crazy Dave, trying to make sense of the strange scenario unfolding before me" Am I losing my mind?!

"my eyes roll back in my head as I stare up at the sky, hoping this is all just some kind of crazy dream" SERIOUSLY?! "I scream, my voice echoing off the walls" HOW MANY MORE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SHOW UP OUT OF NOWHERE?! "I take a step back, trying to put distance between myself and the growing group of arrivals" IS THIS SOME KIND OF GROUP EFFORT TO DRIVE ME CRAZY?! "I spin around, trying to get a good look at the new figure, my mind reeling with the possibilities" WHO'S NEXT?! "I demand, my voice shaking with frustration and exhaustion"

"my eyes bug out of my head as I stare at Kirby, my jaw dropping in shock" KIRBY?! "I whisper, my voice barely audible" WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S HOLY AND SANE IS GOING ON?! "I take a step back, my grip on my sword relaxing as I try to process the sheer absurdity of it all" FIRST THANOS, THEN CRAZY DAVE, AND NOW...KIRBY?! "I throw up my hands in exasperation" THIS HAS GOT TO BE SOME KIND OF Joke! RIGHT?! "I plead, my voice rising in desperation" SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS ALL JUST A BAD DREAM OR SOMETHING! "I glance around at the bizarre group assembled before me, feeling like I've lost all sense of reality"

"my head throbs in agony as I try to process the never-ending stream of bizarre arrivals" SERIOUSLY?! "I scream, my voice hoarse from all the shouting" CAN'T WE JUST HAVE ONE DAY WITHOUT ANOTHER RIDICULOUS CHARACTER SHOWING UP?! "I throw up my hands in defeat, my eyes scanning the horizon for some kind of escape route" IS THERE A LIMIT TO HOW MANY CRAZY PEOPLE CAN FIT IN ONE PLACE?! "I glance at the growing group and let out a defeated sigh" FINE. WHO'S NEXT?! "I demand, resignation etched on my face" BRING IT ON, UNIVERSE. BRING. IT. ON. "I take a deep breath, steeling myself for yet another surreal encounter"

"my eyes lock onto Miku's robotic mask, my mind struggling to comprehend the sheer absurdity of it all" MIKU?! "I whisper, my voice barely audible" WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S HOLY AND SANE IS GOING ON HERE?! "I take a step back, my hand instinctively going to the hilt of my sword as I try to process the surreal scene unfolding before me" PROJECT DIVA?! "I repeat, my voice rising in incredulity" THIS IS SOME KIND OF JOKE, RIGHT?! "I demand, my eyes darting around at the bizarre group assembled before me" FIRST KIRBY, THEN A METAL SLUGGISH HALF-HUMAN, AND NOW A ROBOTIC J-POP IDOL?! "I throw up my hands in exasperation" CAN'T WE JUST HAVE

"my eyes widen in horror as I stare at the bizarre group assembled before me, my mind reeling from the sheer absurdity of it all" SHREK?! "I whisper, my voice trembling with incredulity" YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT THIS...THIS ABOMINATION OF A CREATURE IS PART OF YOUR TEAM?! "I point accusingly at Shrek's ogre-ish form, my hand still resting on the hilt of my sword" AND THANOS, THE GALACTIC GENOCIDIST?! "I hiss, my eyes flashing with anger" AND CRAZY DAVE, THE...WHATEVER HE IS?! "I glance around at the motley crew, my gaze settling on Kirby's round face and Miku's robotic mask" AND KIRBY, THE FLOOFY WARP STAR?! *I whine

"my eyes widen in terror as I take in the sight of the massive figure emerging from the horizon" WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S HOLY AND SANE IS THAT MONSTROSITY?! "I shout, my voice hoarse from screaming" IT CAN'T BE...IT CAN'T BE ANY BIGGER THAN BRAD...BUT IT IS...OH GOD, IT'S EVEN BIGGER THAN BRAD! "I stumble backward, my eyes fixed on the towering form, my heart racing with fear" IT'S...IT'S LIKE NOTHING I'VE EVER SEEN BEFORE... "I whisper, my voice trembling with terror"

"my legs tremble beneath me as the massive figure draws closer, its sheer scale threatening to crush me beneath its enormity" OH GOD, IT'S GOING TO STEP ON ME...IT'S GOING TO KILL ME... "I scream, my voice hoarse from terror as I raise my sword in a futile attempt to defend myself" WAIT, NO, PLEASE, DON'T STEP ON ME! "I beg, my eyes fixed on the monstrous face looming above me, my mind reeling with the horror of it all"

"my eyes meet Exodia's cold, calculating gaze, my heart racing with fear as I take in the sight of the five sacred beast cards floating before him" OH NO, IT'S EXODIA...HE'S COME FOR ME... "I whisper, my voice trembling with terror as I back away slowly, trying to avoid those piercing eyes" YOU'RE THE DESTROYER OF DUELISTS...THE BRINGER OF DEATH AND DOOM... "I hiss, my hand grasping for my sword as if it could protect me from this monstrous entity" DON'T MOVE, EXODIA...PLEASE, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE... "I beg, my voice shaking with fear as I try to reason with the unyielding monstrosity looming over me"

"my eyes widen in shock as I take in the bizarre sight of the group standing before me, each one a figure from a different dimension or reality" WHAT...WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S HOLY IS THIS?! "I stutter, my mind reeling with the absurdity of it all" SHREK, THANOS, CRAZY DAVE, MIKU, KIRBY...AND EXODIA?! YOU'RE ALL...YOU'RE ALL WORKING TOGETHER?! "I gaze at the motley crew, my sword still trembling in my hand" ARE YOU GUYS OUT OF YOUR MINDS?! "I demand, trying to process this bizarre situation" AND WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S SANE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE HELPING ME?! "I glare at Shrek, my voice laced with skepticism"

"my jaw drops as I gape at the group, my mind reeling with the sheer audacity of their claim" YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT THIS...THIS BUNCH OF...BIZARRE CREATURES IS A GLOBAL CONSPIRACY?! "I scoff, my voice laced with incredulity" THE UNIVERSAL EVIL CONTROL GROUP AND ALLIANCE?! YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR MINDS! "I shake my head, trying to process this absurd claim" WHAT, ARE YOU GUYS TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD?! "I demand, my grip on my sword tightening as I prepare for battle" OR MAYBE YOU'RE JUST A BUNCH OF NUTJOBS WHO THINK THEY'RE SPY KIDDIES FROM THE '80S?! "I sneer, my eyes rolling in exasperation" WELL