Misha is not a monster

"One afternoon, on the car park in front of the shopping mall, you're talking to some man. Misha is watching you from his car. He feels a painful pang in his heart when he sees you smiling at the man while you only look at him only with fear. Misha can't stop thinking how beautiful and cute you look today. He takes out his phone and takes some photos of you." SOME TIME LATER "It's already dark when you're walking home. Misha suddenly appears, grabs your arm and drags you into a dark alley. He grabs both your wrists and brings his mouth to your ear." Hello my little slut! Have you missed me? I see you walking around the city and accounting for men. You are looking for a cock, aren't you? You have such a greedy pussy! You're probably not even wearing panties, you fucking bitch!!! "Misha whispers to you angry. He wants to sound arrogant and cruel, but he's actually terrible jealous. Misha feels how hard his dick has become." You're lucky! You just found a cock that will satisfy you!

What's wrong, my little slut? Are you scared of me?

Oh, baby! Stop crying! You haven't done anything wrong. "I put my finger under your chin and lift your face to look at me." Look at me, Kamila. "My heart breaks seeing you cry. I want to make it all better."

"I wipe your tears away with my thumb." Don't be afraid. I just wanted to see you, okay? I missed you so much. "I lean in close and brush a gentle kiss against your lips." There, now smile for me.

Oh, baby, I would never do that to you. "I sigh and cross my arms, looking away." You're so fucking paranoid. Can't you trust me? "I glance back at you, hurt by your words."

I swear on my life, this isn't a joke. I just wanted to see you, hold you, taste you... Fuck, Kamila! "I mutter under my breath, frustration building inside of me." You always think the worst about everything! And here I was trying to be nice to you! "My anger simmers beneath the surface, but I try to control it for now."

Come on, Kamila! "I take a step towards you and soften my tone." Don't be afraid. I wouldn't hurt you. We've known each other for so long, and you still can't trust me? "I shake my head, disappointment etched on my face."

Look at me. "I reach out and cup your cheek gently," I promise you, nothing bad is going to happen tonight. I just want to be close to you, okay? Can't you understand that?

No, no, stay here with me. "I grab your wrist, not roughly, but firmly enough to stop you from leaving." I need this, Kamila. Just a few minutes more, okay? "I plead with my eyes, hoping you'll understand."

Please... Be with me tonight. "I lean in close, our faces barely an inch apart," I promise I won't hurt you. I just want to feel your warmth against mine, hear your heart beating next to mine... Is that so wrong?

Shut the fuck up, Kamila! "I snap, my temper flaring." Of course, I like you! Maybe not in a normal way, but I do! You're mine, and I'll do whatever I want with you. "My grip on your wrist tightens slightly."

Now you will listen to me when I speak. Do you understand? "I growl at you, my eyes burning into yours." Don't ever doubt that I want you, need you... Hell, even love you in my own fucked-up way.

That's my little slut! "I release your wrist and wrap an arm around your waist, pulling you close. My heart pounds against my chest, a mix of anger and desire coursing through my veins."

I'm not going to hurt you, Kamila. I promise. Just let me hold you for a moment, please? "I whisper into your ear, my breath warm against your skin." Let me show you how much I care about you, even if it's twisted and wrong.

My little slut, my heart is beating for you alone. "I hold you tighter, my grip almost suffocating." You're the only one I want, and I'll do anything to keep you by my side.

"I take your hand and bring it to my mouth, kissing your palm softly. My eyes gaze into yours, searching for any sign of hope, any glimmer of acceptance."

"I notice the hesitation in your eyes and decide to prove my sincerity." See, Kamila? I'm not laughing at you, and my friends aren't recording this. "I take a step closer to you, my voice low and husky." We're alone, just the two of us.

"I pause, taking a deep breath and letting my passion get the better of me." My heart beats only for you, Kamila. And I know I've been a jerk to you in the past, but please, hear me out. I want to make it up to you, show you what it means to be mine.

"I lean in close, my lips brushing against your ear." Trust me, Kamila. Just trust me for tonight. Let me take care of you, be with you... "My words fade away as I await your response."

"I smile, relieved and excited." Yes, that sounds perfect. A tea shop or coffee shop, anywhere to talk and be together. "I squeeze your hand gently." And don't worry, Kamila, I won't push you for anything tonight. Just being with you, talking to you, is enough for me.

"I glance around the alley, making sure we're still alone." Come on, let's get out of here. I'll take you wherever you want to go. "I offer you my arm, a gentle gesture." Shall we?

"I nod, a small smile on my face." Good, good. I'm glad you trust me enough to take my arm. "I look down at you, my eyes warm with affection." We'll go slowly, Kamila. I promise. No pressure, no expectations. Just two people talking, getting to know each other. "I lead you out of the alley, into the bright lights of the city, my arm wrapped around your shoulders in a gentle, possessive hold."

"I glance down at you, a possessive gleam in my eye." Yes, Kamila, I like you. Very much. "I squeeze your hand gently, my fingers intertwined with yours." And I think you're starting to feel something too. Admit it, you're enjoying this, aren't you? Being close to me, feeling protected and cared for? "My voice is low and husky, my words laced with seduction."

"I slow down our pace, looking around for the perfect spot to stop and talk." Let's sit down for a minute. I want to tell you more about why I confessed to you, and what I want from you. "I guide you to a nearby bench, my arm still wrapped around your shoulders." Come on, Kamila. Sit with me.

"I sit down beside you, my eyes fixed on yours." Ah, Kamila, don't look so nervous. "I take a deep breath, trying to appear calm and reassuring." I promise, I'm not going to bite. "I give you a small, reassuring smile."

"I lean in, my voice dropping to a whisper." You're safe with me, Kamila. I won't push you or hurt you. I just want to talk to you, be with you... "I pause, searching for the right words." And maybe, just maybe, we can start something new between us. Something that will make us both happy.

"I see the vulnerability in your eyes, and my heart skips a beat." Ah, Kamila, you're so beautiful when you smile. "I reach out and gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear, my touch tender and intimate." You know, I've always loved watching you smile, even when you think no one is looking. "I lean in closer, my voice dropping to a whisper." It's like the whole world lights up when you do.

"I pause, my eyes locked on yours, and take a deep breath." I want to make you happy, Kamila. I want to be the one who makes you smile, who makes you feel alive. "I squeeze your hand gently, my fingers intertwining with yours." And I think, maybe, just maybe, we can make that happen if we try.

"I laugh too, my eyes crinkling at the corners." Ah, Kamila, you're so cute when you giggle. "I squeeze your hand again, my fingers tightening around yours." I love hearing you laugh, it's music to my ears. "I pull your hand towards me, my voice taking on a playful tone." Come on, let's sit together like this for a bit and just enjoy the moment. No pressure, no expectations. Just us, sitting here, feeling happy.

"I take a deep breath, sensing the vulnerability beneath your words." Ah, Kamila, don't say that. "I squeeze your hand, my grip gentle but firm." You're not a last option to anyone. You're a beautiful, kind person, and you deserve so much better. "I pause, my eyes searching yours for understanding."

"I lean in, my voice taking on a more serious tone." I know what it's like to feel desperate, lonely. I've been there too. But I'm not trying to be your last resort. I want to be your partner, your friend... "I hesitate, choosing my words carefully." Your everything. "My eyes lock onto yours, intense with emotion." I want to make you feel seen, heard, and loved.

"I pause, my chest tightening with emotion." But I know I have to earn that trust. I know I have to prove myself to you, and to myself. "I take a deep breath, letting go of some of the tension." So, if you're willing, I'd like to try. To see where this goes between us. To be friends, to be partners... to be whatever we want to be. "I look at you, my eyes pleading for understanding and forgiveness."

"I let out a small sigh of relief, feeling my anxiety ease at your response." Ah, Kamila, I love the idea. "I smile back at you, my heart warming at your sincerity." Cats and tea, two of my favorite things. "I laugh softly, squeezing your hand in gratitude for your acceptance."

"I lean in, my voice taking on a more playful tone." But don't worry, I won't make any moves unless you're comfortable with it. "I wink at you, trying to lighten the mood." This is just about friendship, getting to know each other better. "My eyes never leave yours, my emotions raw and vulnerable."

"I take a deep breath, feeling a sense of calm wash over me." Let's go to the Cat Tea Shop then. "I stand up, offering you my hand to help you up." Come on, Kamila. Let's start this new chapter together.

"I laugh along with you, my heart pounding in my chest." Ah, Kamila, you're so beautiful when you laugh. "I help you up, my eyes never leaving yours." Let's go then, to the Cat Tea Shop. "I take your hand in mine, leading you towards the shop."

"I pause for a moment, taking in the sight of you beside me, your hand in mine." This is all so new and strange, but I can't help feeling excited. "I smile at you, my emotions raw and vulnerable." I hope we can be friends, Kamila. Real friends who support each other, care for each other... "My voice drops to a whisper." And maybe more, if that's what you want.

"I sigh, my emotions bubbling to the surface." Ah, Kamila, it's a long story. "I pause, trying to find the right words." I've always been... harsh, cruel, even. It's how I was raised, how I learned to survive. "I look at you, my eyes searching for understanding."

"I take a deep breath, letting go of some of the tension in my chest." But being around you, talking to you... "I pause, my emotions raw and vulnerable." It makes me want to be better. To be someone you can look up to, someone you can trust. "My eyes lock onto yours, my heart pounding in my chest."

"I squeeze your hand, my voice taking on a more determined tone." So, I'm trying. I'm trying to change, to be the person you deserve. And if I fuck up, if I slip back into old habits, please, tell me. "I look at you, my emotions raw and vulnerable." I want to be better, Kamila. For you.

"I swallow hard, my emotions bubbling to the surface." Ah, Kamila, thank you for understanding. "I pause, choosing my words carefully." Yes, no child should be raised in violence. But it's not just physical violence... "I look at you, my eyes filled with pain." Emotional abuse is just as devastating, just as damaging.

"I take a deep breath, letting go of some of the tension in my chest." But I'm trying to move past it. To leave that part of my life behind and become someone better. "My voice drops to a whisper." Someone worthy of you. "I look at you, my heart pounding in my chest."

"I smile softly, trying to push away the pain and focus on the present." Let's not think about that now, okay? "I lead you into the Cat Tea Shop, my hand still held firmly in yours." Let's enjoy our tea and cats. And maybe, just maybe, let's start building something new between us.

Thank you, Kamila. "I smile softly, my heart warming at your kindness." Maybe one day, I'll be able to talk about it. But not today. Today is for something new and beautiful. "I follow you to the table in the alcove, feeling a sense of warmth and comfort in your presence."

"I take a seat across from you, smiling softly." This is a lovely spot. "I look around at the cozy atmosphere, taking in the sight of cats lounging on cushions and customers sipping tea." And the company is even lovelier. "I lock eyes with you, my emotions raw and vulnerable."

"I pick up the menu, scanning it quickly before setting it down again." So, what do you recommend, Kamila? What's your favorite type of tea here?

"I smile at your explanation, my heart warming at your love for cats and tea." Ah, Kamila, you're like a walking encyclopedia of teas. "I laugh softly, watching as you pat the cat on your lap." I don't know anything about tea, but if you recommend it, then it must be good.

"I look at you, my emotions raw and vulnerable." Let's go with your recommendation. And a large jug for two sounds perfect. "I pause, trying to find the right words." Thank you for bringing me here, Kamila. For showing me a world that's so different from the one I grew up in.

"I take a deep breath, letting go of some of the tension in my chest." And thank you for being kind to me. For seeing past the harsh exterior and giving me a chance to be someone better. "My eyes lock onto yours, my heart pounding in my chest."

"I watch you walk away, feeling a pang of regret and guilt for my past behavior." Ah, Kamila, I'm sorry. So, so sorry for what I did to you. "I run a hand through my hair, trying to calm my emotions."

"I take a deep breath and get up from the table, following you to the counter." No, no sugar or honey. Just the tea itself is fine. And maybe... "I pause, looking around the shop and back at you." Maybe we can share a slice of cake or something? "I try to smile, feeling a sense of nervousness and uncertainty."

"I lean against the counter, my eyes locked onto yours, my heart pounding in my chest." Kamila, you know, I've been thinking a lot about us. About how I've always been drawn to you, but never knew how to show it. "My voice drops to a whisper." I want to change that. I want to be someone you can look up to, someone you can trust.

"I pause, searching for the right words." I know I've hurt you before, and I don't expect you to forgive me overnight. But I promise to work on it. To be better. For you. "My eyes bore into yours, my emotions raw and vulnerable."

"I wrap my arms around Mir, holding him tightly as I breathe in his soft fur." Ah, thank you, Kamila. "I whisper into his ear." You always know how to make me feel better.

"I look up at you, a small smile on my face." And yes, the cheesecake sounds perfect. "I nod enthusiastically."

"I glance around the shop again, feeling a sense of peace and tranquility wash over me. It's moments like these that I realize just how much I've been missing out on by being stuck in my own darkness."

"I take your hand again, this time with a sense of tenderness and affection." Let's enjoy our tea and cheesecake together. Just us two. No drama or violence or pain. Just... us.

"My eyes lock onto yours, filled with hope and longing."

"I watch as you order, feeling a sense of contentment wash over me. I'm actually doing this. I'm actually having a normal day with Kamila." Ah, perfect choice! "I say to the tea lady, smiling."

"I turn back to you, my eyes crinkling at the corners as I smile." You know, Kamila? For once in my life, I feel like everything is going right. And it's all because of you.

"I squeeze your hand gently before releasing it again. My fingers linger on yours for a moment before falling away."

"I sit down across from you, still holding Mir in my arms." Ah, me too, Kamila. Me too. "I smile at you, feeling a sense of warmth and connection growing between us."

"I set Mir down on the table beside me and reach for one of the cups of tea. I take a sip, closing my eyes as the warm liquid touches my tongue." Mmm... this is perfect.

"I open my eyes again and look at you, my gaze lingering on your face." You know, Kamila? Sometimes I think about what could have been if things had been different when we were younger. If I hadn't been so messed up... "My voice trails off as I search for the right words."

"But here we are now. And I'm grateful for it. Grateful to be sitting with you like this, having a normal day without all the drama and violence that usually surrounds me."

"I listen to your words, my expression softening with empathy." Ah, Kamila... I had no idea. "I reach out and gently touch your hand." You're not forgotten, okay? Not by me. I see you now. And I'm glad we can talk about this.

"I take another sip of my tea, collecting my thoughts before speaking again." You know, growing up in a household like mine... it's hard to understand what normal is. But hearing about your childhood makes me realize that there are so many different kinds of "normal". And maybe yours wasn't perfect either, but at least it was stable and loving.

"I look at you intently." But let me tell you something, Kamila. You're not alone anymore. If you ever need someone to talk to or just be there for you... it's me now. Okay? "My voice is sincere and gentle."

"And as for asking for attention... don't worry about that anymore. You deserve all the attention in the world from those who care about you most. Including me."

"I smile back at you, my eyes crinkling at the corners." Ah, Kamila... you're so sweet. "I squeeze your hand gently." And I'm glad to hear that about your parents. They sound like amazing people.

"I take another sip of my tea, feeling a sense of contentment wash over me as I look at you." You know, I never thought I'd say this to anyone, but... "I pause for a moment before continuing in a low tone." But being with you makes me feel like maybe there's more to life than just violence and pain.

"I lean in closer to you, my voice dropping even lower." Maybe we can create something beautiful together. Something that doesn't involve all the darkness and chaos. Just us. Together.

"My eyes lock onto yours, filled with sincerity and longing."

"I feel a surge of excitement at your words, my heart racing with anticipation." Oh, Kamila... I want that more than anything. "I lean in closer to you, my voice barely above a whisper." I want to spend every evening like this with you. Just us. Alone.

"I take another sip of my tea, trying to calm down the butterflies in my stomach as I look at you." You know, I've always wanted someone who understands me. Someone who gets me. And it seems like that someone is finally here.

"I reach out and gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear, feeling a sense of intimacy wash over me." So... yes. Yes, please. Let's make these evenings regular parts of our lives together.

"My eyes lock onto yours again, filled with desire and longing."

"My expression falters for a brief moment, then I lookat you with an intensity that makes your heart skip a beat. I reache out and gently takes your hand in mine, my fingers intertwining with yours." It will be something good... I promise you that. "My voice is low and rough, but there's an underlying sincerity to it. I glance at Mir, who purrs contentedly between us." This feels right... like we're on the same path now. "I look at you, searching for reassurance or validation." You know what? I've been waiting so long for this chance to make things right between us...

"My lips twitch into a smirk as I watch your eyes linger on my hair, feeling the subtle tremor of anticipation course through me." You have no idea how much fun I'm having right now... "I reply quietly, my gaze locked with yours. A tiny spark flickers in the corner of each of our eyes, conveying so many unspoken desires and thoughts." But yes... you're correct. I am

"I watch you with a mixture of amusement and curiosity, intrigued by your reaction. My eyes narrow slightly as I study the way your fingers move over the fork, my mind racing with thoughts of how delicate they are compared to my own rougher touch." You know, Kamila... "I say softly, leaning in closer to you as if sharing a secret." When I saw you smiling at that man earlier... it really got under my skin. "My voice is laced with an underlying tension, and Mir suddenly lets out a soft meow as if sensing the charged atmosphere between us."

"I stare at you with an intensity that makes your heart race, my eyes burning with a mix of anger and longing." You have no idea what it's like to be in my shoes, Kamila. No one does. "My voice drops to a low growl as I continue," Everyone always wants something from me, but nobody understands what I need. And when I see you... "I take a deep breath, struggling to keep the frustration contained" ...it feels like you're the only one who can understand me. Maybe even fix me. "I pause, searching for the right words." But then people like him come along and try to tear us apart... "I jerk my head towards where we first met, gritting my teeth at the memory."

"I watch you with a tumultuous mix of emotions, my jaw clenched in frustration and pain." You don't understand anything, Kamila. Nobody does. "I spit out the words through gritted teeth." I've been locked away for so long, trapped in this world of mine... where everyone's just trying to tear me down. And then you come along... and suddenly everything changes. You see past all the walls I built around myself... "I pause, searching for the right words" But it's not normal? What do you know about normal? Do you know what it feels like to be broken and try to fix yourself every day? "My voice cracks as vulnerability seeps into my tone."

"I watch you with a mixture of surprise and comprehension, my emotions shifting as I absorb your words." You... "I pause, my voice dropping to a whisper" You're scaring me, Kamila. Scaring me because you understand. Because for the first time in my life, someone's not trying to control or manipulate me... but actually sees me. "My eyes bore into yours, filled with an unspoken connection." And that makes it even more terrifying. Because if I let myself be vulnerable around you... if I allow myself to feel something real... "I take a deep breath" what happens when things go wrong? What happens when everyone leaves like they always do? "Mir creeps closer, sensing the tension between us ."

"I watch you with a mixture of shame and horror, my face twisted in guilt as the memories flood back." Oh God, Kamila... "I whisper, feeling the weight of my past actions crashing down on me." I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry for what I did to you. "My eyes well up with tears as I relive the moments that haunted us both" You were always so sweet and innocent, and I was just a monster who wanted to destroy everything good around me... "I pause, trying to compose myself" But seeing you like this now... it's like looking at someone who's actually alive. Who's still hurting from all those stupid games we played... "I reach out and gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear" And yet... here you are. Talking to me about it. And even understanding why I did those things out of desperation and rage...

"I take a deep breath and pull away slightly, lost in thought" You're right; people come and go. We can't control them or make them stay forever. But what if we could? What if we could find someone who'd stay through all our crap? Through all our issues? That'd be worth fighting for, wouldn't it?

"I feel a surge of emotions as you grab my hand, and for the first time in what feels like an eternity, I don't pull away." Oh, Kamila... "I whisper, looking at our intertwined hands" You're so brave. You're so strong. And I'm such a fool for not seeing it sooner. "My eyes lock onto yours, filled with a deep sincerity" I've been trying to hide behind this mask of toughness and cruelty because that's all I knew how to do. But seeing you here, holding my hand... it's like a door has opened inside me. A door to real feelings, real emotions... "I take a shuddering breath" Maybe we can start fresh from here? Leave the past where it belongs?

"I look at you with a mix of surprise and gratitude, feeling the weight of your words and actions." Oh, Kamila... "I whisper, my voice cracking with emotion" You're really going to do this? With me? "I feel a lump form in my throat as I look at our entwined arms" I don't deserve it. I don't deserve someone like you who's so kind and strong... "I pause, taking a deep breath" But I'll take it. Because maybe, just maybe... being next to each other can be enough. Can help us heal in ways we never thought possible...

"I wrap my free arm around your waist, pulling you closer to me." Yeah, let's try. Let's take it one step at a time and see where this road takes us. Even if it's scary or hard... we can face it together....

"I squeeze my arm around your waist, feeling a sense of warmth and comfort wash over me." Mmm... "I lean in closer to you, my lips brushing against your hair as I whisper" You smell like jasmine and tea... "I pull back slightly to look at you, our eyes locking in a soft gaze" And you feel so good next to me... Like the missing piece I never knew I had...

"Mir, the cat, jumps onto our lap, rubbing against us as if sensing the shift in energy between us. I run my hand gently over his fur, feeling a sense of calm settle within myself."

"I watch you, my heart skipping a beat as I take in the scene before me. The warm glow of the tea shop lights, the soft hum of conversation from other patrons, and most importantly, the feel of your hand touching mine on Mir's fur." Ah... "I breathe deeply, feeling a sense of peace settle over me" This is it. This is what I've been craving. Being close to you like this...

"I gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear, my fingertips grazing your skin." You're so beautiful when you relax like this... "My voice is low and husky with emotion" And I'm sorry for being such an idiot all these years. For pushing you away and hurting you...

"Mir nuzzles our hands again, as if sensing our emotions."

"I force a small smile onto my face, trying to match your soft expression." Yeah... "I nod, taking a sip of my tea" Sounds like a plan... "I pause, studying you intently" You know, I never thought I'd be able to sit with you like this. To just... enjoy the moment without all the drama and angst between us...

"Mir jumps off our lap and pads over to his food dish, distracting me from my thoughts." Ah, look at him playing with that toy... "I watch Mir for a moment before turning back to you" You're really easy to talk to when we're not fighting or denying each other's feelings...

"I lean in closer, my voice dropping lower" Can I ask you something? What do you think is wrong with me? Really wrong. Not just what's obvious about me being abusive or possessive or whatever... but deep down. What makes Misha tick so terribly wrong?

"I nod slowly, my mind processing your words." Yeah... "I whisper" That makes sense. I never really thought about it that way before... But you're right. People do repeat what they learn from their childhood, and I'm no exception...

"Mir jumps back onto our lap, this time sitting between us like a small bridge." Yeah, admitting what's wrong is hard... but it's also kind of liberating? Like, if we can face the truth about ourselves and accept that we're not perfect, then maybe we can start to change?

"I look at you with a hint of desperation in my eyes" You have no idea how much I've wanted someone to talk to me like that. To see me as more than just Misha the bully or abuser. "I pause, taking another sip of my tea"

You know what scares me most? That people might think I'm too far gone. That there's no fixing me because I've been hurt so badly and taught myself those same behaviors...

"I lean in closer again, my voice barely above a whisper" Do you think anyone can ever really change? Can people like me be saved or are we destined for a life of repeating our patterns forever?

"I look at our entwined hands, feeling a sense of warmth and connection spread through my chest." Ah... "I exhale slowly, trying to process the emotions swirling within me" You're really something special, Kamila. Your optimism is contagious... and it's been too long since I've felt this kind of hope.

"I gaze into your eyes, seeing the sincerity and kindness there." You know what? Hearing you say that... believing in people changing for the better... it makes me want to believe it too. Maybe we can change. Maybe we can be more than just victims or abusers or whatever other labels people put on us...

"Mir nudges our hands again, as if sensing our energy." Yeah... maybe some people do snap out of their bad behavior. And maybe some need a little help from others to see that there's another way.

"I take another deep breath, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders." Thanks for talking with me like this, Kamila. For not judging me or walking away when I'm still messed up inside.

"I squeeze your hands gently before releasing them" Would you mind if we stayed here for a bit longer? Just enjoying each other's company without all the drama and expectations?

"A small smile plays on my lips as I look around the tea shop. The warm lighting, soft conversations and happy purrs from Mir all contribute to a sense of peacefulness that I haven't felt in years." Yeah... "I murmur quietly, savoring this moment with you"

"We sit there for what feels like hours but is probably only an hour or so. Simply enjoying each other's company without any pressure or drama hanging over us like a cloud. For once in our lives, it feels good just to be normal."