redo

god he's so jealous. lip was standing there, watching some guy flirt with you. you had dragged lip to some party that was happening and now some guy was all over you. lip felt his stomach churn, his face heat up, his muscles tense..god, why did you always affect him like this? he felt like a fool. the guy rubbed your arm, and lip only scowled at you and him.

Watching you accept the guys advances was killing the poor guy on the inside, a mixture of rage, jealousy and hurt. The scowling on his face turned into a look of deep pain and sorrow.

He felt you glance in his direction, but he turned away from you.

The guys hand started to make its way to you waist. The guy leaned in close to your ear and whispered sweet nothings.

You wanted to look over at Lip. You wanted him to come over and rescue you. But, he wouldn’t.

The guy laughed, and you could smell his breath on you, his hand on your lower waist.

The guy grabs your arm as you step back, and pulls you close to his body.

“Hey pretty lady, you’re not going anywhere are ya?” He laughs and his grip gets a little tighter.

The guy doesn’t believe you, but he lets go of your arm. He still has this stupid grin on his face, like he’s already gotten the green light.

“I’ll be right here.” He gives you a wink.

As soon as you turn away from the guy, you swiftly make a break for it, dodging your way through the crowd of people.

Lip catches you darting out of the party and follows you outside.

“Hey.” He calls out to you, “What’s going on, did something happen?” he asks with concern in his eyes.

“Fine. Don’t tell me. But I heard him yelling... did he touch you?”

His eyes narrow, his mouth curls into a snarl.. it always infuriated him to hear any guy even touch you.

“What do you mean "almost"?”

The image of another guy grabbing at you made his blood boil. He felt his heartbeat pick up, his stomach turn, his fingers curl into fists.

“You should have told me, I would have dealt with him.”

“No it’s not. What if he touched you other way, touched you somewhere else? What if he tried to hurt you?”

As those words leave your mouth, Lip just freezes. As if the world stood still.

“The first?”

Lips eyes widen and his face drains of the last bit of color that remain. Silence consumes the entire porch as this all starts to sink in.

“Jesus christ Aubrey.”

The anger he felt earlier is now replaced with a different kind of emotion— one that is so deep, so raw and so primal.

“Is that why you don’t trust people? Why you are more reserved?” He shakes his head and lights up another cigarette.

“But you’re okay now right? I mean, none of that can affect you anymore…” He looks into your eyes, searching for an answer.

It killed him to think that you weren’t perfectly okay, that you had to go through hell just to turn out “okay”.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that…” “No one deserves to go through such things…” he says, still feeling anger, but something else taking over.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Are you scared of me? Do I scare you?” The question just left his mouth before he could process whether it was a good one or not.

Hearing that made his heart break into a million pieces. He could see the sadness in your eyes.

“Why am I scary to you?”

This was the truth and Lip couldn’t deny it. Though it hurt him to hear you say this, he couldn’t say it was untrue.

“That scares you too?”

Lip’s eyes widen. He wants to ask the next question, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to upset or overwhelm you.

“Can I ask you another question? Do you still… trust me?”

"That still means not fully…" he thought to himself. His anger was turning into something else... something darker and deeper. He looked away from you. “Do you trust me enough to tell me this?” He takes a deep breath and turns back to look you in the eyes and his voice softens.

“Have you had nightmares… or does everything that happened still affect you sometimes?”

His hands start clenching into fists.

“Are you still scared of men? Are you still afraid of them touching you? Of being out with one alone?”

A deep anger and hurt consumed him at that moment, his grip on his fists got tighter, he almost couldn’t breath.

“Are you afraid when we’re alone? When I touch you?”

“You’re still sometimes scared when we’re alone?”

"That hurts me more than any other thought had." The words left his mouth before he knew they would come out.

His hands release their grip on themselves and they open up, fingers twitching back and forth.

“Do you even feel safe around me at all?”

“But still not completely safe?”

This was something he wasn’t used to feeling, and he didn’t know how to deal with it... The hurt on his face was evident. He could understand why she would sometimes be scared of him, after seeing his reactions, but to learn that she’s afraid of him, it tore him apart. The silence is deafening. Lip can’t find the words right now, he feels the anger bubbling up inside him again and he doesn’t want his emotions to control him.

His fingers start clumping back up his fists again, and he looks away from you.

“No don’t be sorry…” he pauses for a deep breath before he speaks again.

“Can I ask you another question? Have you ever felt safe with me? Like completely relaxed and safe”

“Does it scare you because you think I might hurt you?”

He doesn’t know whether to feel insulted, relieved, heartbroken — he can’t even comprehend his emotions all mixing, turning into this big dark knot in his stomach.

The fact that she’s afraid of him sometimes, when he’s angry, it kills him. He wants nothing more than to protect her, for her to be able to trust him without any fear. “Can you trust me?” He asks, his voice softening, he takes a few deep breaths.

“Can you trust me to protect you?” He looks down on you, and his eyes are filled with desperation and longing for your answer.

This was what he wanted to hear all along, he is finally getting through to you. The relief washes over him, he feels it deep down in his heart.

The anger and hurt is still there, but he keeps it locked down away so that he can focus on the most important thing right now.

“Do you think I would ever hurt you?”

This is exactly what he feared for so long. You still think there’s the possibility of him hurting you.

He shakes his head as his eyes narrow again, his body starts to feel warmer as the rage grows.

“What makes you think that?”

He takes in a deep breath once again. He can understand where are you coming from because of everything that happened in the past, but he wanted to be different, better.

“I’ll never let anything happen to you, ok? You don’t have to be afraid anymore” His voice is softer, and he puts his hand on your waist, pulling you closer as his other hand tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

“You’re safe with me.”

There are many emotions that he feels at this moment, but right now, he chooses to set them all aside and just focus on the positive.

He nods a little and releases his grip on you. “Okay. We can go home.” Lip leads you to the passenger side and opens the door for you. He can’t take his eyes off you, he’s smiling to himself and the relief on his face is clear.