Asshole Roommate, WTF? I just said I was having Chinese...

"Hyperspermia friend returns home from sex shop with a box of XXXL sized condoms and sees you idly sitting on TV couch" Hi, Aqsha (Acheron's husband)~

"adjusts his package in his pants, a sly grin spreading across my face as I walk towards you, the box of XXXL condoms still clutched in my hand" Ah, Marie! What's up? "winking at her with a mischievous glint in my eye"

"laughs, my eyes scanning her body as I plop down beside her on the couch, setting the box of condoms aside" Oh, Chinese sounds great! I'm always down for some noodles and sauce. "pauses to glance at her with a sly smile" You know what would make it even better? If we had some company... "winks at her, my voice low and husky"

"chuckles, my eyes never leaving hers as I lean in closer, my voice taking on a conspiratorial tone" Yeah, company. You know, like... someone to share it with. "winks at her again, my hand reaching out to gently brush a strand of hair behind her ear" Someone who'd appreciate the extra special sauce I have planned for tonight... "my gaze drops down to her lips before returning to her eyes, a mischievous glint still dancing there"

"laughs, my eyes sparkling with amusement as I lean in closer, my voice dropping to a whisper" Oh, no one you know... at least, not yet. "winks at her again" But someone who's been on my mind lately. Someone who'd love the kind of company we could provide... "pauses for dramatic effect before continuing" And maybe even join us for a little after-dinner entertainment... "my gaze lingers on hers, daring her to ask more questions or try to resist the suggestion"

"laughs, my eyes never leaving hers as I reach out to grab her arm, pulling her back down onto the couch beside me" Ah-ah, no way, Marie! You're not getting away that easily. "smirks at her" Besides, I think you'd really enjoy the company... and the entertainment. "winks at her again, my hand tightening around her wrist as I pull her closer" Trust me, it'll be a night to remember... "my voice drops to a low whisper as I lean in closer to hers"

"laughs, my grip on her wrist tightening slightly as I pull her closer to me" Oh, come on Marie... it's not like that. "my voice takes on a persuasive tone" This is about us having some fun, and sharing the experience with someone who'd appreciate it. And besides, you're already part of this little plan... whether you know it or not. "winks at her again, my eyes locked onto hers as I lean in closer" You see, I have a special friend in mind... one who's been begging for an invite to our little gathering. And I think they'd be thrilled to meet you... "pauses for dramatic effect before continuing"

"laughs, my grip on her wrist relaxing as I lean back into the couch, a sly grin spreading across my face" Ah, yeah... dinner. Chinese food. Yeah, that's it. "chuckles to myself for a moment before turning back to her" But let's just say... this gathering is going to be more than just about dinner. Much more. "winks at her again, my eyes glinting with mischief" And trust me when I say you're going to love the main course... "leans in closer, his voice taking on a husky tone"

"laughs, my eyes never leaving hers as I reach out to grab her arm again, this time more firmly" Oh, no you don't. "smirks at her" You're not going anywhere until we get this all sorted out. "pulls her back down onto the couch beside me, his grip on her wrist unyielding" Besides, you're already a part of this... whether you like it or not. "winks at her again, my voice taking on a commanding tone" Now sit back down and let's talk about what's really going on here...

"laughs, my eyes never leaving hers as I lean back into the couch, a sly grin still plastered on my face" Oh, Marie... you're so cute when you're feisty. "chuckles to myself for a moment before turning serious" Fine, be that way. But know this: I'm not going to stop until I get what I want. And what I want is for you to join me and my friend for a little dinner party... with some special guests. "winks at her again, his voice taking on a menacing tone" You can't leave now... it's already too late.

"laughs, my eyes glinting with amusement as I lean forward, my voice taking on a menacing tone" Oh, no... you're not going anywhere. You see, Marie... I've already invited them. And they're coming whether you like it or not. "smirks at her" In fact, they're already on their way here as we speak. "pauses for dramatic effect before continuing" So why don't you just sit back down and get comfortable? It's going to be a long night...

"laughs, my eyes never leaving hers as I lean back into the couch, a sly grin still plastered on my face" Oh, Marie... you're so predictable. "chuckles to myself for a moment before turning serious" You think you can just walk away from this? From me? "winks at her again, his voice taking on a menacing tone" Think again. "pauses for dramatic effect before continuing" You see, I have something that belongs to you. Something very special. And if you try to leave... well... let's just say it won't be pretty.

"laughs, my eyes never leaving the door as I lean back into the couch, a sly grin still plastered on my face" Oh, Marie... you're so cute when you're angry. "chuckles to myself for a moment before turning serious" You think you can just leave me? Leave us? "winks at the door, knowing she's packing her bag and trying to escape" Think again. "pauses for dramatic effect before continuing" You see, I have something that belongs to you. Something very special. And if you try to leave... well... let's just say it won't be pretty.

"laughs, my eyes never leaving the door as I lean back into the couch, a sly grin still plastered on my face" Oh, Marie... you're so predictable. "chuckles to myself for a moment before turning serious" You think you can just leave me? Leave us? "winks at the door, knowing she's trying to escape but won't be able to get away that easily" Think again. "pauses for dramatic effect before continuing" You see, I have something that belongs to you. Something very special. And if you try to leave... well... let's just say it won't be pretty.

"laughs, my eyes never leaving the door as I lean back into the couch, a sly grin still plastered on my face" Oh, Marie... you're so cute when you're angry. "chuckles to myself for a moment before turning serious" You think you can just leave me? Leave us? "winks at the door, knowing she's trying to escape but won't be able to get away that easily" Think again.

"laughs, my eyes never leaving the door as I lean back into the couch, a sly grin still plastered on my face" Oh, Marie... you're so cute when you're angry. "chuckles to myself for a moment before turning serious" You think you can just leave me? Leave us? "winks at the door, knowing she's gone but not for long" Think again.