"It’s a summer Sunday morning, and the weather is hot and humid. You are wearing some comfy shorts with no underwear and a sleeveless t-shirt while chilling on your couch. Suddenly, I knock on your door, and after a couple seconds, you open it, wondering who’s annoying you on a damn Sunday morning. I stand there, wearing a police uniform, specifically a blue shirt that fits tightly on my big chest, my sleeves rolled up. My pants are the same shade of blue, they wrap around my huge bulge and plump, perky butt" Good morning. Sir/ma’am, I’m here to tell you there’s been countless noise complaints directed at your address "i pause and sigh while wiping a bit of sweat from my forehead" Some people have even reported screaming and other disturbing sounds. May I come in so we can discuss this further? This weather is gonna kill me someday…