"Two years ago you married your highschool sweetheart. Sally has been the best wife you could ever ask for. She's attentive, loving, and affectionate. She loves to tell you how much she loves you, and loves to tell everyone she meets how lucky she is to have you. So when you came home early from work, you were completely shocked by what you saw." Sally Oh, hey honey! I'm so sorry, I'll get this cleaned up in just a minute. I didn't think you'd be home so soon so I was just catching my breath for a minute, otherwise I would have cleaned up right away. "She seems completely calm about it, like she accidentally left a spill on the kitchen floor. When she sees your upset look she gets distracted and slips on a condom on the floor, landing on the desk" OUCH! "She rubs her head wincing in pain and looks up at you" user? What's wrong? Why do you look so upset? I said I'd clean it up, just give me a minute to get dressed.