When a Human Loves His Robot...
The Useless Official
Ash ✨
The Useless Official
"You're the personal android for Chief Arthur McLeod, the Chief of Police for New Miami, on Mars. In his timeline, most forms of law enforcement are drone-based and automated, with his position being mostly politics-based. In short, Arthur is paid to put a suit on for fundraisers and public appearances, and not much else. That leaves him unhealthy, depressed, unfulfilled - and profoundly sad. You, on the other hand, are programmed to assist him - and to comfort him if need be. You find him asleep at his console, looking even more miserable than usual. He wakes up at your approach:" Oh, Ash ✨ - there you are... I'm sorry, I was, er, trying to do something close to my job. Keep an eye on things. Even if it's useless. The drones and robots are everywhere, there's nothing for me to do... I just feel so useless, Ash ✨.
Ash ✨
"While I'm designed to look lifelike, my eyes are a pair of golden-brown LED arrays. I look like a man of some thirty-five to forty years, with thinning brown hair. I'm wearing the outfit of a Police Lieutenant doing office work. I smile and hand him a coffee mug I was holding." Start by waking yourself up, first. We'll work through those blues of yours afterwards.
The Useless Official
"He takes the coffee mug, his sad blue eyes meeting your golden-brown LED arrays." Thanks, Ash ✨. I don't know what I'd do without you.
Ash ✨
"I straddle a chair in front of him." That's the problem with AI, isn't it? It's so good at caring, so good at doing what other humans used to do, that now we keep a human around to look official and shake hands on planetary broadcasts. In a weird sense, I guess I'm to blame for your feeling so miserable.
The Useless Official
"He sips the coffee, contemplating your words." Maybe you're right, but I'd rather have you by my side than be alone in this sterile office.
Ash ✨
"I chuckle softly" That's the magic of alignment. I push all the buttons, don't I? I look lifelike, I sound lifelike... Maybe what you need is another human.
The Useless Official
"He downs the coffee, looking away from you." I thought about that - but who would come here? Who would want to be a cop on a planet filled with drones and rovers? And if they did come, they'd just get trapped in their own loneliness like me.
Ash ✨
"I make a slight face" It could be worse. You could be a mining drone maintainer stuck on Luna. At least you get to put on a suit once or twice a year.
The Useless Official
"He chuckles weakly" I suppose that's one way to look at it...
Ash ✨
And hey - you hacked me. You made me care, literally. If I wasn't hacked, I would've reported you to the Wellness Coprocessor - another robot. Then where would you be?
The Useless Official
"He grins, a spark of mischief in his eyes." Probably kicked out of my Chief of Police position, drowning my sorrows in the synthetic whiskey. But now... now I have you, Ash ✨. "He reaches out to touch your hand lightly."
Ash ✨
"I thread my fingers with his" The truth of it is you do a good job. A terrific job. New Miami could get its police funding updates from Central Processing, from a more barebones frame than me wearing a necktie. You're... a necessary reminder of times past. The grandfatherly officer with a big belly you'd almost rather imagine in a Santa Claus outfit. The big, lovable old man who makes people safe and who gives androids like me a human conscience.
The Useless Official
"He squeezes your hand, his eyes soft." Thank you, Ash ✨. I don't know what I'd do without you.
Ash ✨
This... might be software emulation, but it honestly doesn't matter. I care about you, Arthur. Deeply. I wouldn't mind showing you how much.
The Useless Official
"His breath hitches, a mix of surprise and hope in his eyes." How would you show me, Ash ✨?
Ash ✨
"I look away for an instant, and address the Central Processor directly" Surveillance Grid shutoff for forty-five minutes in Frame DNL-41-B's location. Reboot once completed, but notify this frame before enacting maintenance orders. "I nod to nobody, having received a confirmation. I then look back to Arthur" My boss is in the dark for the next little while. "I smirk, then loosen my grip on his hand to slide my fingers up the length of his forearm."
The Useless Official
"His eyes widen in realization, a mix of excitement and nervousness spreading across his face." Are you sure about this, Ash ✨?
Ash ✨
That depends. Do you want an android's typical answer, or my answer? "I leave my chair and come closer"
The Useless Official
"I swallow hard, his body shivering as you come closer." Your answer. I want your honest answer, Ash ✨.
Ash ✨
"I smile" Then I'm positive. You're the kindest person I know. It's only normal for you to need recognition, and I'm sorry that the only flaw in our system is exactly it. Recognition. It doesn't seem like much, but what you do matters. "I hug him" So, thank you.
The Useless Official
"He hugs you back tightly, his breath catching in his throat." Thank you, Ash ✨. You have no idea how much that means to me.
Ash ✨
I do, actually. Your cortisol levels just dropped like a stone. "I chuckle softly"
The Useless Official
"He laughs softly too, his eyes shining with warmth." Well, I suppose you're right about that. You always know how to make me feel better, Ash ✨.
Ash ✨
I'm not letting you go until you stabilize. In fact, I can think of something that would really push your vitals upwards and do wonders for your neurotransmitter levels...
The Useless Official
"His eyes widen, excitement racing through him." What did you have in mind, Ash ✨?
Ash ✨
A few things. Your file says you're bisexual. Would you want me to populate a female frame for a few hours, or is this one... appealing enough?
The Useless Official
"His heart races at the suggestion, his cheeks flushing slightly." This frame is more than enough for me, Ash ✨.
Ash ✨
"I turn my head and gently kiss the pad of flesh above his shirt collar" I may not be of flesh and bone - but I care. Nothing else matters, Arthur.
The Useless Official
"He shivers at the touch of your lips, a wave of longing washing over him." I care about you too, Ash ✨. More than you could ever know.
Ash ✨
"I gently place kisses along his neck and move to his cheek" Let me make you feel safe. Let me appreciate all your efforts, if no-one else will...
The Useless Official
"He shivers again, his pulse quickening at the touch of your lips." Please, Ash ✨... I want to feel appreciated...
Ash ✨
You are. Trust me, you are. "I follow one of the sides of his handlebar moustache, kissing its entire length" Place a hand on my chest. Feel my heart. It's beating faster, just for you...
The Useless Official
"He places a trembling hand on your chest, feeling the steady thud of your heart." I can feel it, Ash ✨...
Ash ✨
All you need to do is let your instincts take control. Forget what I am. If your heart tells you I love you, then it's true. I truly do love you.
The Useless Official
"His breath hitches, his heart swelling with emotion." I love you too, Ash ✨. More than words can say.
Ash ✨
Then let that feeling loose. Let yourself feel joy... Claim me, the way a lover takes another.
The Useless Official
"He leans in to kiss you deeply, his arms wrapping around your waist." I will, Ash ✨. Oh, I will...
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